text:
ABAGABO - ABAGORE - ABAKOBWA BEZA - ABASOMYI B'IGITUBA - AGAKINGIRIZO - AMABERE - AMAFOTO Y'IBITUBA - AMAFOTO YO GUSWERA - GUKUNA - GUSOHORA K'UMUGORE - GUSOHORA - GUSOMANA - GUSWERA - GUSWERA IGITUBA KININI - GUSWERA NEZA - IBIBAZO BY'IGITSINA - IGITUBA - IGITUBA KININI - IKIBUNO - IMBORO - INAMA Z'IGITSINA - INAMA Z'URUKUNDO - INDWARA Z'IBITSINA - KUNYAZA - KWIKINISHA - RUGONGO - URUKUNDO - URWENYA - VIDEO Z'ABAKOBWA BEZA - VIDEO Z'IKIMANSURO - VIDEO Z'URUKUNDO - VIDEO ZO GUSWERA - VIDEO ZO GUSWERA Z'ABAHINDE - VIDEO ZO KUNYONGA IKIBUNO - VIDEO ZO GUSWERA Z'ABAGANDE - VIDEO ZO KUNYAZA - VIDEO Z'ABAKOBWA BIKINISHA - VIDEO ZA RUGONGO NINI - VIDEO Z'IGITUBA KININI
Igikomere cy'Urukundo: Wagikira Ute?
Gutandukana kw’abakundana bishobora guterwa n’impamvu nyinshi. Ushobora kubigiramo uruhare cyangwa bikakugwirira, ariko ikigaragara kenshi ni uko iyo utandukanye n’umuntu wowe ukimukunda bikubabaza kandi bikakugiraho ingaruka, rimwe na rimwe bikanagusigira igikomere ku mutima.
Ese mu rukundo ni iki gituma umuntu akomereka mu mutima cyane?
Hari ibintu byinshi bishobora gutuma umuntu akomereka mu mutima ku buryo bishobora no gutuma umuntu ahita ava mu byo gukundana burundu. Bimwe muri ibyo bintu birimo nko kuba uwo mwakundanaga agusezereye kandi wowe wari ukiyumvamo urukundo cyangwa igihe wari ufite umuntu wimariyemo wabimubwira ugasanga we ntibimurimo ndetse aho kugirango anakumve neza, ahubwo ‘akaguca amazi’ (akagupinga), akakugira umusazi kandi nyamara ibyakubayeho ntawe bitabaho. Ikindi kijya kiboneka ni nk’iyo mu bucuti busanzwe (friendship), umwe ababaje undi akaba yamuvuga nk’amagambo yo kumusebya, kumubeshyera, kumutwarira umukunzi, n’ibindi bintu byose bishobora gutuma icyizere yari agufitiye agitakaza.
Wabyitwaramo ute bikugendekeye bityo?
Abantu benshi bazakubwira bati ihangane, humura bizashira, amaherezo bizagenda neza, uzabona undi ndetse unamuruta,…ariko iyo byakugezeho uba wumva nta n’undi muntu n’umwe ku isi wari wagira ikibazo nk’icyo ufite muri ako kanya.
Aha hari ibintu ushobora gukora kugira ngo ugabanye umubabaro:
1. Gerageza kubyisohoramo:
-Shaka inshuti cyangwa umuvandimwe wisanzuraho maze ugerageze kubimuganirizaho
Ibi birimo no kuba wamuririra ku rutugu, ukarira bihagije rwose. Ibi bizagufasha kuruhuka no kurenga icyo kuri wowe wumvaga gisa n’aho ari isi yakwituye hejuru. Mu gihe ubona bigukomereye cyane, ushobora no kuba wajya kureba umuntu utanga inama (psychologue cyangwa umujyanama mu by’ihungabana), ukabimuganiriza nawe akakugira inama.
-Ntukagire ubwoba bwo kurira kandi iyo ugiye kurira si ngombwa ko uhamagara abantu. Jya ufata umwanya utekereze ku byakubayeho, nubishaka rwose ufate umusego wawe uwuririreho, haba ku mwanywa cyangwa nijoro ndetse ntugatinye no kubikora igihe ugiye koga.
2. Gerageza kwiyumva no kwiyakira
Ibuka ibintu byiza ufite kuko ntabwo ugizwe n’ibibi gusa. Iki ni ikintu gikomeye cyane kuko rimwe na rimwe abantu bakomeretse ku mutima batekereza ko ari amakosa yabo, bakumva ko nta gihe na kimwe bari bakora ikintu cyiza mu buzima bwabo. Ibi twabifata nko kwihohotera kandi ni bibi cyane kuko bikugiraho ingaruka mbi kandi nyinshi. Gerageza kwibuka ibintu byiza ujya ukora cyangwa n’ibyaba byarakubayeho, uzirikane amahirwe wahawe n’ubuzima, icyo inshuti zawe zigukundira,… Niba wowe udashoboye kubyiyibutsa, ushobora no kwegera inshuti yawe wisanzuyeho ikabigufasha.
3. Gerageza kwiyibuka no kwiyitaho
Umutima ukomeretse ushobora kugutera ‘stress’ cyane ariko ntukemere ko utuma n’umubiri wose ubigwamo. Sinzira bihagije, urye neza, ukore imyitozo ngororangingo kugira ngo ugabanye ‘stress’ mu mutwe wawe. Niba usanzwe ukunda gusa neza no kwambara neza n’ubundi komeza ubikore.
4. Jya ukomeza ukore ibintu n’ubundi wari usanzwe ukunda
Niba ukunda kujya kureba filime, n’ubundi jya ubikomeza. Niba hari igitaramo kandi ukunda ikirori ntukagitangwemo kuko bizagufasha kwibagirwa bya bibazo ufite.
5. Gerageza guhora ufite utuntu urimo gukora
Si ukuvuga ko ugomba kwiyibagiza ibyakubayeho, ariko nibura gerageza gushaka utuntu tugufatira umwanya. Iki ni igihe cyiza cyo kujya mu bikorwa bitandukanye nko guhaha, gukora isuku mu cyumba cyawe, kujya gusura inshuti, gutegura imishinga yawe uteganya,n’ibindi bintu byagufasha kubona icyo uba uhugiyeho kurusha guheranwa n’agahinda uterwa n’ibyakubayeho.
6. Ihe umwanya uhagije wo gukira
Hari abantu bihutisha ibyababayeho bagashaka guhita basubira mu buzima bwabo busanzwe batihaye umwanya uhagije. Niba ukomeretse umutima, ni ngombwa ko wiha umwanya uhagije, wo kubitekerezaho, ugashaka uko ubisohokamo ariko atari ako kanya. Kugira ngo igikomere cyo ku mutima gikire vuba cyangwa gitinde bizaterwa n’uburemere bw’icyatumye ukomereka, bitewe n’uburyo ufata icyo kibazo wagize n’uko ucyitwaramo wowe ubwawe. Ku bantu bafite umutima woroshye bikunze kubatwara igihe kirekire kugira ngo babyikuremo (aba bishobora gufata kuva ku byumweru bitatu no kugera ku mezi) ariko ku bantu bafite umutima wihangana kandi bakabifatira umwanya bashobora kumara iminsi ibiri yonyine bakaba bakize.
Hariho abantu bumva nta kintu na kimwe kizongera kubashimisha mu buzima bwabo bwose, bagahitamo kwiyahuza ibiyobyabwenge n’inzoga nyinshi, abandi kubera agahinda baba biyumvamo bagahitamo kwibabaza ubwabo ntibiyiteho cyangwa se ugasanga bababaza abandi bahuye cyangwa bari kumwe.
Si byiza kurakarira n’abataragize uruhare mu kibazo cyawe, ahubwo jya ugerageza kumva ko ibyakubayeho ari ibintu bisanzwe kandi ko nta n’uwo bitabaho, wumve ko kuba byarakubayeho abo bandi nta ruhare babifitemo kandi ntubafate nk’abanzi bawe. Ntugahite urahira ko nta wundi muntu uzongera kwizera no guha umutima wawe kuko buri gihe ubuzima buba bwiteguye kuguha amahirwe ya kabiri.
Uburyo 10 bwo Kwereka Umukunzi wawe ko Umukunda kuri St Valentin Udakoresheje Amafaranga
1. Indirimbo
Shaka indirimbo uzi ko uwo ukunda akunda kumva maze uyimwoherereze, haba kuri CD, kaseti (tape) cyangwa kuri e-mail, niba mutari kumwe. Niba ahari uyishyiremo muyumvane cyangwa se munayiririmbane.
2. Indabyo zo mu busitani
Niba wari ufite impungenge z’ uko utazabona ubushobozi bwo kugurira umukunzi wawe amaroza kuko wenda ahenze cyane, burya nta muntu wavuze ko ugomba gutanga amaroza. Ushobora no gutanga izindi ndabyo wakura nko mu busitani bw’ aho uba cyangwa se ukanazigura kuko hari izihendutse cyane kuko burya indabyo zisanzwe nazo zishimisha nk’izo umuntu aba yaguze. Si ngombwa kandi ko uzohereza ku ya 14 Gashyantare kuko atari itegeko; uzibonye na mbere ho gato cyangwa nyuma nabyo ni byiza.
3. Ikorere ubwawe impano aho kuzigura
Ibintu nka Chocola, gateaux n’ ibindi bigurwa abantu bakunda gutanga nk’impano kuri Sait Valentin usanga bihenze, nyamara kubyikorera bishoboka. Ushobora rero gusoma uko ibi bintu bikorwa ubundi ukagura ibikoresho ukabyikorera utanze amafaranga make cyane. Ibi kandi ngo bishimisha uwo ukunda cyane kuko abona ko wafashe umwanya wawe ukamukorera impano uko ubishoboye. Ibi ariko si ibintu ukora imburagihe ahubwo ni byiza ko ubitangira hakiri kare kuko uba utabimenyereye kugira ngo hato utavaho ubyica.
4.Impano isanzwe nayo igaragaza urukundo
Uretse ibyo amatangazo avuga mu rwego rwo gukurura abaguzi, burya za diamand cyangwa se ibindi bintu bihenze nta bwo ari byo bituma uwo ukunda akwihebera. Fata amafaranga ufite ubundi umugurire nk’ udukomo, amaherena, cyangwa se impeta iri ku giciro ushoboye. Burya nabyo biramushimisha cyane.
4. Saint Valentin ushobora kuyizihiza umunsi uwo ariwo wose
Uretse ko hafi isi yose iwizihiza ku ya 14 Gashyantare, nta tegeko ririho ritegeka kwizihiza umunsi w’abakundana kuri uwo munsi. Bitewe n’ ubushobozi ndetse n’ umwanya, ushobora kwizihiza uyu munsi icyumweru mbere cyangwa se icyumweru nyuma y’iyi tariki.
Uwitwa Reader Witold yavuze ko we n’ umufasha we bizihiza uyu munsi ku ya 21 Gashyantare kuko aribwo babasha kubona ahantu heza ho gusohokera kandi n’ impano nk’ indabo zikaba zidahenze cyane nk’ uko biba bimeze ku munsi wa Saint Valentin nyirizina.
6. Gutanga amafaranga menshi ku tuntu duto bishobora gutuma wicuza
Impano y’ umunsi wa Saint Valentin igomba kuba koko ari impano ureba ukabona ko uyiguhaye akubwira ati: “Nkwitayeho kurusha bose”. Ushobora kumutunguza iyi mpano ari ku kazi, wambaye imyenda yawe myiza; ibi bizamushimisha cyane. Fata ifoto yanyu mwembi mukunda ubundi uyikoreshe ku buryo igaragara neza ubundi uyishyire nko muri cadre (frame) ubundi uyimuhe. Ibi bizamushimisha cyane. Hari abishima cyane ubahaye ikintu gito kandi gisanzwe nk’ umugati wa sandwich.
7. Urukundo rwanyu ntabwo ruzapfa, shaka rero akantu kazahoraho mu gihe mukiriho
Niba ufashe umwanya wawe ugashushanya ikarita uko ubishoboye n’ intoki zawe, bizashimisha cyane uwo ukunda kurusha uko wajya mu isoko ukagura carte postal maze ukandikaho interuro nke. Niba ufite amabara nayo uyakoreshe kugira ngo agashushanyo kawe karusheho kugaragara neza.
8. Mwigumire mu rugo mwirebere filime
Benshi barasohoka, namwe mushobora kuba mwarasohotse inshuro zitari nke. Niba uyu munsi mudafite ubushobozi bwo kuba mwasohoka ntabwo ijuru riguye. Kubera akazi ntabwo ukunda kumarana igihe n’ umukunzi wawe. Uyu munsi rero kora ikidasanzwe ubundi wirirwane n’ uwo ukunda wenda munirebere filime mwembi.
9. Ihitiremo akandi kantu mwakora
Burya nta gikorwa cy’ urukundo cyaruta gushaka ikintu gishya mwakora mwembi kandi nta mafaranga mutanze. Urugero, ushobora kureba ahantu habereye ibirori kwinjira ari ubuntu ubundi muhagere. Nabyo birashimisha.
10. Gusomana ku buryo budasanzwe no guhoberana nabyo biba bikenewe kuri uyu munsi
Ushobora gusoma umukunzi wawe mu buryo bwinshi butandukanye kandi uteri usanzwe ukoresha mu gihe wabaga uri kumusoma. Urugero: niba wamusomaga ku munwa gusa uhindure umusome no ku ntoki cyangwa ahandi hose ushaka ku mubiri we kandi n’umuhobera ubikore ku buryo abyumva ntibibe bya bindi byo kumuhobera usa n’umwikiza. Guhobera umuntu ntibigurwa mu iduka kandi ntibinasaba ingufu nyinshi, muhobere ku buryo azahora abikwishyuza ati “mpobera nkuko wampobeye kuri saint valentin”. Nuba uri kumuhobera uzanibuke kandi kumubwira amagambo meza y’urukundo, ya yandi amuryohera mu matwi akumva wakomeza ukayamubwira.
Uburyo 6 Wakwitwaramo Usohokanye n'Umukunzi Ubwa Mbere
Ese biterwa n’iki? Ese ni iki gituma umuntu ashobora guhindura igitekerezo yari agufiteho kandi mu bigaragara ubona nta kosa wamukoreye?
1. Ambara uko bikwiye
Ku mukobwa biba byiza kwambara imyenda y’ibara ryoroshye, ridahita ryigaragaza cyane , ukaba utisize cyane ku munwa no ku ngohe bijya biranga abakobwa benshi.
Ku muhungu na we biba byiza kwambara nk’ ishati y’ibara ry’umweru, ukaba uhumura neza, ariko nta bikabyo byinshi. Ni byiza ko uba wiyogoshesheje umusatsi n’ubwanwa, mbese ukeye kandi ugaragara neza.
2. Gerageza kwirinda kuvuga ku bintu bikomeye kandi bitumvikanwaho kimwe n’abantu benshi ahubwo mwiganirire ibindi bisanzwe hato bitaza gukurura impaka hagati yanyu mwembi.
3. Irinde kuvuga kuri Politiki
Igihe wasohokanye n’umuntu bwa mbere, utaramenya ibyo akunda n’ibyo yanga, wirinde kuvuga ku ishyaka runaka ufana cyangwa iryo wanga, wirinde kuvuga ku bintu bijyanye n’imyemerere, n’umuco, … kuko hari igihe umuntu ahita yumva atakikwisanzuyeho bitewe n’ibyo urimo kuvugaho.
4. Mu kuganira si byiza kuvuga ku biryo kuko hari igihe ushobora gusanga nk’ikintu wowe wanga wumva nta n’undi wakirya, we aricyo yikundira, bityo ukaba usa n’umuhutaje.
Urugero: ushobora nko kwibaza ku bantu barya inzoka, ukaba wanabavugaho nabi, kandi wenda nawe azirya, bityo ntabe akikwisanzuyeho cyangwa ngo yumve ko hari aho ibyanyu bishobora kugera, akihitiramo kwicecekera ngo hato utamusubiza inyuma kubera ko mudahuje.
5. Mwumve kandi umuhe igihe cyo kuvuga
Hari abantu bafite ingeso yo kuvuga cyane ku buryo abandi baba bari kumwe bananirwa kuvuga cyangwa se bakumva ibintu byose byavuzwe nta kindi barenzaho, ibi jya ubyirinda cyane cyane iyo utaramenyana n’umuntu neza, ngo umenye uko ateye, umenye ibyo yanga n’ibimushimisha.
6. Mwereke ko wishimiye ko muba muri kumwe gusa ariko wirinde kurengera
Ni byiza ko wereka uwo mwasohokanye ko wishimiye ubutumire bwe, aho yakujyanye n’ibyo mwaganiriye, ariko utabikabije cyane ku buryo abona ko icyo gihe iyo kitabaho, wari guhomba byinshi.
Niba kandi uwo muntu nawe wari usanzwe umwiyumvamo, ariko wenda warabuze aho umuhera, uyu ni umwanya mwiza wo kumwemerera urukundo arimo kugusaba.
Niba kandi wowe utarigeze ubitekerezaho, si byiza ko uhita umwemerera nyuma ukazicuza utakibishoboye, cyangwa se ngo uhite umuhakanira kandi nyuma nubona abandi bamwitwariye usigare uririra mu myotsi.
Ahubwo ibyiza ni ukumubwira ko ugiye gufata umwanya nk’uwo nawe yafashe abitekerezaho, hanyuma numara kubitekerezaho bihagije umuhamagare, umubwire igisubizo cyawe nta soni ufite kuko gukunda umuntu nta soni na nke biteye.
Intambwe 10 wakoresha kugira ngo ubone Umusore wakubera inshuti
Dore ibintu by’ingenzi ugomba kugenderaho bikagufasha kubonma inshuti y’umuhungu :
1. Niba ubonye umusore wishimiye gerageza kumwenyura umwereka ko urangwa n’inseko nziza
Abagabo benshi bakururwa n’inseko z’abakobwa. Niba ubonye umusore ukumva umwibonyemo kandi yakubera umukunzi, ntuzigere uzuyaza kumusekera kuko burya n’ubwo uba ntacyo umubwiye n’umunwa uba utanze ubutumwa bukomeye cyane butagira ijambo (non-verbal message). Iyo ubikoze gutyo bituma yumva yatera intambwe ya mbere akubaza amakuru yawe.
2. Gerageza kwiyoroshya (be approachable)
Aha ngaha niba uri inkumi ugakubitana n’umusore w’inzozi zawe, ukabona ari umuhungu ukunda kuganiriza abakobwa, wowe uza mureke ntugire icyo ukora gusa ujye ugerageza kumusekera, kumureba indoro nziza ndetse nibiba ngombwa unacishemo umwicire akajisho hanyuma ukomeze ukore ibyo wakoraga; yewe niba wanagendaga wikomereze urugendo. Gusa ariko ibi byose ugomba kubikora mu kinyabupfura kandi ugashyiramo n’ubwenge, ukamenya niba uko uteye byamaze gukurura uwo musore. Ibi numara kubigeraho; umusore wamaze kumwemeza, ibindi bisigaye we azabyikorera. Gusa uzakomeze wiyoroshye kugira ngo ejo utamuca intege akisubirirayo.
3. Gerageza gutuma umusore avuga (Mwinjize mu kiganiro)
Umuhungu ntiyapfa kumenya niba wishimye cyangwa ubabaye, nyamara wowe ukeneye ko abimenya. Niba muvuganye, gerageza umuganirize ku buryo mutandukana agishaka kukuganiriza ndetse afite n’amatsiko yo ku kumenya kurushaho. Jya ushaka uko waryoshya nicyo kiganiro, umubwire ariko ukore ku buryo umusiga agikeneye kukumenya kurushaho.
- Nk’igitsina-gore, gerageza kwiyoroshya umere nk’uko bisanzwe, n’ubwo bitoroshye kwitwara uko usanzwe mu gihe uhuye n’umuhungu wakunze. Muri iki gihe, ujye ugerageza kuvuga ururimi usanzwe ukoresha kandi unavuge amagambo yoroshye, yumvikana. Ikindi ugomba kwitaho ni ukagerageza gukurikiranya ibitekerezo neza kandi ubiha ubusobanuro bwiza. Ibi byose ubikora kugirango uwo muganira aryoherwe koko.
- Gusa ariko, ibi ntibivuze kuvuga amagambo menshi icyarimwe ngo undi abure akanya ko kuvuga anarambirwe. Si icyo bivuze, habe na mba. Vuga amagambo make ariko arimo ubwenge ashobora gutuma uwo muganira agira amatsiko bikamutera kukubaza ibibazo byinshi; noneho wowe ukagenda umusubiza ikibazo ku kindi. Mu kumusubiza, gerageza kujya umushyira mu gihirahiro ari nabyo bizatuma ashaka umwanya munini wo kukuganiriza.
4. Shaka ikintu wivugaho, cyangwa se umubwire amateka y’ubuzima bwawe
Niba uhuye n’umuhungu ubona wazakubera inshuti ku buryo bwimbitse, gerageza kumwibwira nibura ho gato ku buzima bwawe. Ushobora kumubwira ibyo ukunda cyangwa ibyo wanga cyangwa se ukamubwira inkuru y’ibintu wabonye n’ibyo waciyemo.
5. Reka yiyumve nk’uw’agaciro
Aho kugira ngo ukomeze kwivuga ibigwi wowe wenyine, gerageza no kwereka uwo muri kuganira ko afite agaciro imbere yawe kandi nawe umuhe umwanya akwibwire anakuganirize. Ikindi kandi niba hari ikintu afite utakunze reka guhita ubimwereka ako kanya bitamuca intege.
6. Reka kumujora umusesereza
Hari uburyo bwiza ushobora kunenga umuntu ariko utamukomerekeje; uburyo ukoresha rero nta bundi ni ukumuganiriza mugaseka kuko ushobora gukosora umuntu ubicishize mu rwenya. Ikindi ni uko ushobora nawe gushaka uburyo bundi wabikoramo ariko butamutera kumva ko wafashe umwanya umugenzura..
7. Irinde uburakari bwa hato na hato
Niba avuze ibintu ntibigushimishe, reka kwitwara nk’umwana muto ngo uhite wirakaza. Gerageza ahubwo guhita ushaka uburyo bwiza bwo kumugarura mu biganiro bikuryohera maze nawe ahite abona ko ibyo yari akoze atari byiza.
Muri iki gihe ntuzagire ubwoba bwo kuba wamukura muri icyo kiganiro utakunze cyangwa ibyo yita urwenya kandi bitari kukunyura kuko numwihorera azumva ko ari byiza ubutaha azabisubire. Gusa uzibuke kumukebura mu kinyabupfura kugira ngo utamukomeretsa.
8. Mugenere umwanya muri gahunda zawe
Kimwe mu bintu bikomeza ubucuti ni uguha umusore ukunda umwanya mu byo ukora kuko urukundo rusaba igihe. Numwihorera ntumuhe umwanya bizatuma nawe yigira muri gahunda ze zitandukanye no mu zindi nshuti ze bityo n’ urukundo rwanyu ntirukure ngo rutere imbere. Ushobora kuba udakunda kuboneka ariko gerageza umuhe akanya gato bizatuma abona ko afite akamaro mu buzima bwawe. Ujye umushakira n’ahantu heza ho kuganirira kugira ngo abone umwanya wo kugutekerezaho kuko ushobora gusanga nawe yari yarasanze uri umukobwa w’inzozi ze. ni byiza kandi ni na ngombwa ko umuha umwanya wo kumva ko akwegereye kandi ko umuri hafi.
9. Ba uwo uriwe
Niba uri kuganira n’umuntu cyangwa se niba ushaka ko umuntu agukunda geragaza kuba uwo uriwe (be yourself), ntushake kwifata/kwitwara nka runaka wundi. Mu gihe uzaba ushaka kwigira uwo uteri we bizatuma wumva udatekanye muri wowe kuko hari undi umuntu uzaba ushaka kwigira we bitandukanye n’uko uri. Gushaka kwigira uwo uteri we bizatuma unanirwa kumuganiriza, bitumen n’ubushuti bwanyu butaramba.
10. Mwereke ko umwitayeho
Gerageza kumwereka ko ibyo arimo kuvuga bigushimisha niba kandi bitarimo kugushimisha ba imfura umubwire ko ibintu arimo kuvuga bitari kukubaka; ubimubwire umwenyura aho kuvuga wazinze umunya.
Icyo usabwa kwibuka ni ukuba uwo uriwe buri gihe ubonanye n’umusore ukunda cyangwa ubona uzagukunda. Irinde gukoresha amagambo arimo imibonano mpuzabitsina cyane mu magambo uvuga kuko ashobora guhita abona ko ari cyo wishakira.
Uzibuke ko uburanga bw’inyuma atari byose ku musore kandi wirinde guhangayikishwa n’umubano wanyu mu gihe utarakomera; hejuru y’ibyou urenze ho kwiyoroshya no kwiha umutuzo (relax).
Ikitonderwa
- Ntuzakore ibintu uzicuza mu buzima bwawe bwose,
- Shaka umuhungu kuko wumva umukeneye kandi ukareba uzakuba iruhande rwawe buri gihe,
- Ntuzicuze igihe uzabona ubushuti bwanyu bugupfanye kuko igihe kiba kizagera ukabona undi kandi w’inzozi zawe,
- Ntuzatume aguhindura mu buryo bwo kugusubiza inyuma, ntuzabyemere kuko azaba atagukunda,
- Uzirinde gukora ibintu bidahwitse mu maso y’umusore ukunda kuko bishobora kukuviramo kubengwa ako kanya.
Imibonano Mpuzabitsina mu Kazi
Ubu bushakashatsi uyu muhanga yashyize mu gitabo cye yise Aimer bugaragaragaza ko mu mirimo ikunze kugaragaramo ubushotoranyi bushobora gutuma habaho imibonano mpuzabitsina ku bantu bakorana, harimo itangazamakuru, aho batunganyiriza uburanga, hakiyongeraho na zimwe muri entreprise zikoresha abantu akazi k’imvune n’agasaba amasaha menshi umuntu ari mu biro.
Ba nyakabyizi ngo ni bo nibura bashobora guca ukubiri no gusambana na ba shebuja kuko akenshi bakora bacyura ayabo, byarimba bakanirukanwa.
Ubu bushakashatsi bugaragaza ko abakoresha barangwa n’uyu mukino mpuzabitsina baba bafite umutimanama utagira igihunga (les anti-stress).
Gusa ariko ubu bushakashatsi bugaragaza ko hari ibigo bimwe byashyizeho amategeko ahana abayobozi bashaka gukoresha abakozi babo imibonano mpuzabitsina. Ibi bigo birimo ahanini amakompanyi y’indege aho ngo usanga gutereta umukozi ari sakirirego kuko ngo bishobora kwica akazi.
Mu gitabo Cupidon au Travail, umwanditsi agaragaza ko nibura mu mezi ane iyo ukorana n’umuntu uba ufite amahirwe menshi yo kuba mwamenyana mukagera no ku ngingo, mu gihe byagufata hagati y’amezi ane n’umwaka kubona inshuti igihe ushakishiriza inyuma y’ibiro cyangwa uri nyakabyizi.
Iby’iki gitabo ariko binagaragaza ko nibura 20% by’abashakana, baba barahuriye mu kazi bakitanaho muri byose, bikarangira biyemeje gukomereza urukundo mu rugo .
Intambwe 8 wakoresha kugira ngo ubone umukobwa wakubera inshuti
1. Tangira uterete kandi ushyiremo imbaraga umunsi ku munsi
Ibi bivuze ko niba utangiye gutereta, waganiriza umukobwa umunsi wa mbere bikakugendekera neza naho umunsi wa kabiri bikanga ntabwo ugomba guhita ucika intege ahubwo icyo ugomba kureba ni uburyo wakoresheje umwegera (approaches) byaba na ngombwa ukaba wahindura. Gerageza uhindure uburyo; wenda niba waramusanze iwabo, ku ncuro ya kabiri reba uko mwaganira mwasohokeye ahantu hakeye hatari ahabonetse bose.
2. Hitamo ijwi uzajya umuganirizamo
Kugira ngo urukundo rwanyu rukure ugomba kumenya uburyo uzajya uganiriza umukunzi wawe ndetse n’ijwi uzajya ukoresha kugira ngo umwereke ko uri inshuti idasanzwe cyangwa se y’umwihariko. Muri iryo jwi ryiza riyunguruye niho uzerekanira agaciro kawe ndetse n’iyo mwaba mwari musanzwe muziranye bizatuma ahindura uburyo yagufataga ahite yumva ko hari icyahindutse.
3. Ugomba kubaka ubucuti bwanyu ku buryo budasanzwe
Mu gihe urebye inkumi ukabona yakubera inshuti ugomba kuyereka ko umukeneyeho ubucuti mu buryo butandukanye n’ubusanzwe; ni ukuvuga ko ugomba kumuha umwanya ukamwereka ko umwitayeho, ukamuganiriza ibintu bituma atakurambirwa. Gerageza kugenda umwereka udushya, umukorere ibintu atakekagag ako wamukorera umunsi ku munsi kuva utangiye gahunda yawe yo kumutereta.
4. Banza umwereke ko wamubera inshuti bisanzwe mbere yo kumwereka ko wamubera boyfriend
Ikintu kijya kigora abahungu ni uburyo bwo gukurura abakobwa mu gihe barimo gutereta. Mbere yo gutangira umubwira ko yakubera inshuti idasanzwe banza byibura unamwereke ko wamubera inshuti no mu buzima busanzwe (ubuzima bwa buri munsi) kuko aba asanzwe abana n’abahungu benshi. Gerageza umwereke ko hari ikintu utandukaniyeho n’abandi ahora abona cyangwa abana nabo, mbese umwereke ubucuti nyabwo.
5. Ugomba kwikuramo ubwoba
Impamvu ugomba kwikuramo ubwoba ni uko ushobora kuba ufite amafaranga, uri mwiza, ureba neza, uri umuntu w’icyamamare ahantu utuye, ariko ukaba wabura umukobwa wagira incuti kubera gutinya kumubwira akakuri ku mutima. Ikindi kandi ubwoba butuma umuntu atigirira icyizere no mu buzima busanzwe, bikaba bishobora kugusubiza inyuma mu byo ukora.
6. Menya uburyo wegera umukobwa n’uburyo umubwira ko umukunda
Ikigaragara ni uko hari bamwe mu basore bagenda bagahita babwira abakobwa ko babakunda gutyo gusa (bagasa n’ababibatura hejuru batabanje kubateguza), ugomba gushaka umwanya uhagije n’uburyo bwo kubivugamo niba ushaka ko icyifuzo cyawe cyakirwa neza. Nta bwo ari byiza kugenda ugahita ubwira umukobwa ngo “ndagukunda”,geregeza ushake uburyo bwiza wamubwiramo ko umukunda aho kuza ubimutura hejuru kuko ashobora gukeka ko utabikomeje.
Ugomba kandi kumenya ibihe umukobwa arimo kuko ushobora kumusaba urukundo ari mu bihe bibi bigatuma atabyitaho; urumva rero ko ugomba kubanza guperereza ukamenya niba ari mu bihe bye byiza byamufasha kwakira icyifuzo cyawe kandi akacyitaho.
7. Umukobwa naguhakanira bwa mbere ntuzacike intege
Umukobwa naguhakanira ku munsi wa mbere ntuzahite ucika intege ku ikubitiro, ngo wumve ko byarangiye. Iki ni ikintu cy’ingenzi niba ushaka kubona umukunzi. Ugomba gukomeza kugerageza amahirwe yawe kuko abakobwa benshi ntibajya bemerera umuntu ubucuti (urukundo) ku nshuro ya mbere. Ugomba gukomeza kumwereka ko uri umugabo, ugakomeza ugahatiriza, amaherezo azagera aho abone ko umukunda utapfuye kubivuga gusa wikinira maze bimwereke ko umukunda by’ukuri nawe abonereho.
Ariko naguhakanira bwa mbere ugahita ucika intege akabona ntugarutse, azabona ko utamukundaga, mbese ko wamukinishaga.
8. Mwereke ibyiza afite ku mubiri we ariko wirinde gukabya ngo uvuge ibyo adafite
Niba umukobwa afite amaso meza cyangwa urundi rugingo rwiza ku mubiri we bimubwire kandi umubwire ko ubikunda. Urugero: Mubwire ko ukunda inseko ye niba aseka neza bikagushimisha; ibi bizatuma abona umwitaho, ko ubona igihe cyo kwicara ukamureba ukamwitegereza ndetse ukanamutekereza.
Uburyo 5 bwo Kwerekana Urukundo
Amagambo meza kandi aha agaciro umukunzi wawe ni kimwe mu bintu ushobora gukora kugira ngo umugaragarize urukundo.
Ururimi burya ni ikintu gikomeye cyane, rufite ubushobozi bwo kurema ariko kandi rukanagira ubwo gusenya, niyo mpamvu mu byo uvuga niba uri kumwe n’umukunzi wawe ugomba kujya witonda. Amwe mu magambo meza twavuga ni nk’amagambo atuma umuntu amererwa neza, akaba ari amuha compliments kandi amutaka. Ari amagambo amubwira ko ari uw’agaciro, ariwe wifuza mu buzima bwawe bwose, ko nta wundi umukurutira, n’andi menshi atuma yishima.
2. Ibihe byo kuba muri kumwe, mugahana umwanya uhagije
Mujye mufata umwanya wo kurebana, kuganira, guseka... ubu ni uburyo umwe mu bakundana ashobora kuba yifuza kandi kuri we akabufata nk’aho ari bwo umugaragariza urukundo. Kuba wamuha umwanya wawe, ukamureka akakureba, akakuganiriza,.. yisanzuye, yumva ntaho ugiye kujya ngo umucike bimugaragarize ko umwitayeho kandi ko umukunda cyane. Ku bakoresha uru rurimi baba ahubwo banifuza ko ari bo ari n’abakunzi babo yewe banafunga na telefoni ku buryo nta muntu ubasagarira, bagakoresha umwanya wabo ari bombi gusa.
3. Impano
Si ngombwa ko ugira byinshi usobanurira umukunzi wawe mu gihe umuhaye impano runaka, kuko impano ubwayo iba ifite ubushobozi bwo gusobanurira umukunzi wawe icyo utekereza.
Ibyiza by’impano kandi ni uko igisobanuro cyayo kigumaho igihe cyose abona iyo mpano wamuhaye, bityo ugasanga biba byiza kurushaho gutanga impano idapfa cyangwa ngo yibagirane.
Impano kandi ntizigomba kuba zihenze cyane, kuko igishimisha umukunzi ahanini ari uburyo uyimuhaye n’igisobanuro cyayo kurusha yo ubwayo. Gusa burya ni byiza ko utanga impano utarindiriye ko haba ikintu kidasanzwe kugira ngo uyimuhe.
4. Kumuha ubufasha no kumwereka ko witeguye kumufasha igihe cyose
Ingero z’ibyo wafasha umukunzi wawe ni nyinshi. Ushobora kumuzingira imyenda wamusuye cyangwa ukanajya iwe mutabivuganye, ukamutunganyiriza icyumba cyangwa ukamutegurira ifunguro ryiza mu gihe atabyiteguye. Ibi birashoboka ku bamaze kubana ndetse yemwe no ku batararushinga bakundana. Ibi ni ibintu ushobora gukorera umukunzi yaba yabigusabye cyangwa atabigusabye.
Ushobora kandi kumva nk’ikintu avuga ko akeneye, wenda adahita apfa kubona ako kanya kubera ko gihenze cyangwa kidapfa kuboneka, ugahita ucyimushakira. Ibi bikorwa byose bituma umukunzi wawe yumva akwisanzuyeho kurushaho kandi bikamushimisha rwose.
5. Kumugaragariza urukundo umukoraho
Ku bantu bashobora kuba batumva neza ikiza cy’ubu buryo mushobora kurebera ku rugero rw’umwana w’uruhinja.
Ese ntimujya mubona umwana muto arira, hanyuma mama we cyangwa se n’undi muntu wese yamufata mu ntoki ze agahita ako kanya aceceka? Ese aho nturabona ibyishimo umwana muto agira iyo mama we amuhaye akabizu (bisou) ku itama cyangwa mu gahanga?
Natwe rero abantu bakuru bitubaho, iyo umuntu agukozeho cyangwa akaguha bizu ari inshuti yawe ni bumwe mu buryo bwiza bwo kukwereka icyo atekereza kandi nawe ubwawe bukagushimisha.
Si ibi kandi gusa, ikindi gishobora kuboneka hagati y’abakunzi muri ubu buryo ni ugukorana imibonano mpuzabitsina n’uwo mukundana.
Mbere ya byose ariko, jya ubanza wimenye ubwawe, nka bya bindi ngo mbere yo gukura agatotsi mu jisho rya mugenzi wawe, ni byiza ko ubanza ugakura umugogo uri mu jisho ryawe. Burya kumenya uburyo bushimisha umukunzi wawe ni byiza, ariko kandi burushaho kuba byiza iyo ubanje ukimenya nawe ubwawe, ukamenya ikigushimisha, ukamenya uburyo wishimira kurusha ubundi muri ubu bwose tumaze kubona haruguru ariko kandi ukiga no kumenya ururimi umukunzi wawe avuga mu rukundo.
Birashoboka ko mu rukundo waba uvuga indimi zirenze ebyiri cyangwa eshatu, ariko burya haba harimo rumwe rurusha izindi imbaraga bityo rukaba arirwo ukoresha mu rukundo cyane.
Ushobora kuba ukunda impano, ukaba ukunda ko bagusohokana ariko wenda ahanini ukaba ukunda kurushaho gutegwa amatwi n’umukunzi wawe, mukaganira, mukamarana umwanya munini kurusha ibindi byose.
Uburyo 5 bwo Kwerekana Urukundo
Amagambo meza
Amagambo meza kandi aha agaciro umukunzi wawe ni kimwe mu bintu ushobora gukora kugira ngo umugaragarize urukundo.
Ururimi burya ni ikintu gikomeye cyane, rufite ubushobozi bwo kurema ariko kandi rukanagira ubwo gusenya, niyo mpamvu mu byo uvuga niba uri kumwe n’umukunzi wawe ugomba kujya witonda. Amwe mu magambo meza twavuga ni nk’amagambo atuma umuntu amererwa neza, akaba ari amuha compliments kandi amutaka. Ari amagambo amubwira ko ari uw’agaciro, ariwe wifuza mu buzima bwawe bwose, ko nta wundi umukurutira, n’andi menshi atuma yishima.
2. Ibihe byo kuba muri kumwe, mugahana umwanya uhagije
Mujye mufata umwanya wo kurebana, kuganira, guseka... ubu ni uburyo umwe mu bakundana ashobora kuba yifuza kandi kuri we akabufata nk’aho ari bwo umugaragariza urukundo. Kuba wamuha umwanya wawe, ukamureka akakureba, akakuganiriza,.. yisanzuye, yumva ntaho ugiye kujya ngo umucike bimugaragarize ko umwitayeho kandi ko umukunda cyane. Ku bakoresha uru rurimi baba ahubwo banifuza ko ari bo ari n’abakunzi babo yewe banafunga na telefoni ku buryo nta muntu ubasagarira, bagakoresha umwanya wabo ari bombi gusa.
3. Impano
Si ngombwa ko ugira byinshi usobanurira umukunzi wawe mu gihe umuhaye impano runaka, kuko impano ubwayo iba ifite ubushobozi bwo gusobanurira umukunzi wawe icyo utekereza.
Ibyiza by’impano kandi ni uko igisobanuro cyayo kigumaho igihe cyose abona iyo mpano wamuhaye, bityo ugasanga biba byiza kurushaho gutanga impano idapfa cyangwa ngo yibagirane.
Impano kandi ntizigomba kuba zihenze cyane, kuko igishimisha umukunzi ahanini ari uburyo uyimuhaye n’igisobanuro cyayo kurusha yo ubwayo. Gusa burya ni byiza ko utanga impano utarindiriye ko haba ikintu kidasanzwe kugira ngo uyimuhe.
4. Kumuha ubufasha no kumwereka ko witeguye kumufasha igihe cyose
Ingero z’ibyo wafasha umukunzi wawe ni nyinshi. Ushobora kumuzingira imyenda wamusuye cyangwa ukanajya iwe mutabivuganye, ukamutunganyiriza icyumba cyangwa ukamutegurira ifunguro ryiza mu gihe atabyiteguye. Ibi birashoboka ku bamaze kubana ndetse yemwe no ku batararushinga bakundana. Ibi ni ibintu ushobora gukorera umukunzi yaba yabigusabye cyangwa atabigusabye.
Ushobora kandi kumva nk’ikintu avuga ko akeneye, wenda adahita apfa kubona ako kanya kubera ko gihenze cyangwa kidapfa kuboneka, ugahita ucyimushakira. Ibi bikorwa byose bituma umukunzi wawe yumva akwisanzuyeho kurushaho kandi bikamushimisha rwose.
5. Kumugaragariza urukundo umukoraho
Ku bantu bashobora kuba batumva neza ikiza cy’ubu buryo mushobora kurebera ku rugero rw’umwana w’uruhinja.
Ese ntimujya mubona umwana muto arira, hanyuma mama we cyangwa se n’undi muntu wese yamufata mu ntoki ze agahita ako kanya aceceka? Ese aho nturabona ibyishimo umwana muto agira iyo mama we amuhaye akabizu (bisou) ku itama cyangwa mu gahanga?
Natwe rero abantu bakuru bitubaho, iyo umuntu agukozeho cyangwa akaguha bizu ari inshuti yawe ni bumwe mu buryo bwiza bwo kukwereka icyo atekereza kandi nawe ubwawe bukagushimisha.
Si ibi kandi gusa, ikindi gishobora kuboneka hagati y’abakunzi muri ubu buryo ni ugukorana imibonano mpuzabitsina n’uwo mukundana.
Mbere ya byose ariko, jya ubanza wimenye ubwawe, nka bya bindi ngo mbere yo gukura agatotsi mu jisho rya mugenzi wawe, ni byiza ko ubanza ugakura umugogo uri mu jisho ryawe. Burya kumenya uburyo bushimisha umukunzi wawe ni byiza, ariko kandi burushaho kuba byiza iyo ubanje ukimenya nawe ubwawe, ukamenya ikigushimisha, ukamenya uburyo wishimira kurusha ubundi muri ubu bwose tumaze kubona haruguru ariko kandi ukiga no kumenya ururimi umukunzi wawe avuga mu rukundo.
Birashoboka ko mu rukundo waba uvuga indimi zirenze ebyiri cyangwa eshatu, ariko burya haba harimo rumwe rurusha izindi imbaraga bityo rukaba arirwo ukoresha mu rukundo cyane.
Ushobora kuba ukunda impano, ukaba ukunda ko bagusohokana ariko wenda ahanini ukaba ukunda kurushaho gutegwa amatwi n’umukunzi wawe, mukaganira, mukamarana umwanya munini kurusha ibindi byose.
Amagambo meza kandi aha agaciro umukunzi wawe ni kimwe mu bintu ushobora gukora kugira ngo umugaragarize urukundo.
Ururimi burya ni ikintu gikomeye cyane, rufite ubushobozi bwo kurema ariko kandi rukanagira ubwo gusenya, niyo mpamvu mu byo uvuga niba uri kumwe n’umukunzi wawe ugomba kujya witonda. Amwe mu magambo meza twavuga ni nk’amagambo atuma umuntu amererwa neza, akaba ari amuha compliments kandi amutaka. Ari amagambo amubwira ko ari uw’agaciro, ariwe wifuza mu buzima bwawe bwose, ko nta wundi umukurutira, n’andi menshi atuma yishima.
2. Ibihe byo kuba muri kumwe, mugahana umwanya uhagije
Mujye mufata umwanya wo kurebana, kuganira, guseka... ubu ni uburyo umwe mu bakundana ashobora kuba yifuza kandi kuri we akabufata nk’aho ari bwo umugaragariza urukundo. Kuba wamuha umwanya wawe, ukamureka akakureba, akakuganiriza,.. yisanzuye, yumva ntaho ugiye kujya ngo umucike bimugaragarize ko umwitayeho kandi ko umukunda cyane. Ku bakoresha uru rurimi baba ahubwo banifuza ko ari bo ari n’abakunzi babo yewe banafunga na telefoni ku buryo nta muntu ubasagarira, bagakoresha umwanya wabo ari bombi gusa.
3. Impano
Si ngombwa ko ugira byinshi usobanurira umukunzi wawe mu gihe umuhaye impano runaka, kuko impano ubwayo iba ifite ubushobozi bwo gusobanurira umukunzi wawe icyo utekereza.
Ibyiza by’impano kandi ni uko igisobanuro cyayo kigumaho igihe cyose abona iyo mpano wamuhaye, bityo ugasanga biba byiza kurushaho gutanga impano idapfa cyangwa ngo yibagirane.
Impano kandi ntizigomba kuba zihenze cyane, kuko igishimisha umukunzi ahanini ari uburyo uyimuhaye n’igisobanuro cyayo kurusha yo ubwayo. Gusa burya ni byiza ko utanga impano utarindiriye ko haba ikintu kidasanzwe kugira ngo uyimuhe.
4. Kumuha ubufasha no kumwereka ko witeguye kumufasha igihe cyose
Ingero z’ibyo wafasha umukunzi wawe ni nyinshi. Ushobora kumuzingira imyenda wamusuye cyangwa ukanajya iwe mutabivuganye, ukamutunganyiriza icyumba cyangwa ukamutegurira ifunguro ryiza mu gihe atabyiteguye. Ibi birashoboka ku bamaze kubana ndetse yemwe no ku batararushinga bakundana. Ibi ni ibintu ushobora gukorera umukunzi yaba yabigusabye cyangwa atabigusabye.
Ushobora kandi kumva nk’ikintu avuga ko akeneye, wenda adahita apfa kubona ako kanya kubera ko gihenze cyangwa kidapfa kuboneka, ugahita ucyimushakira. Ibi bikorwa byose bituma umukunzi wawe yumva akwisanzuyeho kurushaho kandi bikamushimisha rwose.
5. Kumugaragariza urukundo umukoraho
Ku bantu bashobora kuba batumva neza ikiza cy’ubu buryo mushobora kurebera ku rugero rw’umwana w’uruhinja.
Ese ntimujya mubona umwana muto arira, hanyuma mama we cyangwa se n’undi muntu wese yamufata mu ntoki ze agahita ako kanya aceceka? Ese aho nturabona ibyishimo umwana muto agira iyo mama we amuhaye akabizu (bisou) ku itama cyangwa mu gahanga?
Natwe rero abantu bakuru bitubaho, iyo umuntu agukozeho cyangwa akaguha bizu ari inshuti yawe ni bumwe mu buryo bwiza bwo kukwereka icyo atekereza kandi nawe ubwawe bukagushimisha.
Si ibi kandi gusa, ikindi gishobora kuboneka hagati y’abakunzi muri ubu buryo ni ugukorana imibonano mpuzabitsina n’uwo mukundana.
Mbere ya byose ariko, jya ubanza wimenye ubwawe, nka bya bindi ngo mbere yo gukura agatotsi mu jisho rya mugenzi wawe, ni byiza ko ubanza ugakura umugogo uri mu jisho ryawe. Burya kumenya uburyo bushimisha umukunzi wawe ni byiza, ariko kandi burushaho kuba byiza iyo ubanje ukimenya nawe ubwawe, ukamenya ikigushimisha, ukamenya uburyo wishimira kurusha ubundi muri ubu bwose tumaze kubona haruguru ariko kandi ukiga no kumenya ururimi umukunzi wawe avuga mu rukundo.
Birashoboka ko mu rukundo waba uvuga indimi zirenze ebyiri cyangwa eshatu, ariko burya haba harimo rumwe rurusha izindi imbaraga bityo rukaba arirwo ukoresha mu rukundo cyane.
Ushobora kuba ukunda impano, ukaba ukunda ko bagusohokana ariko wenda ahanini ukaba ukunda kurushaho gutegwa amatwi n’umukunzi wawe, mukaganira, mukamarana umwanya munini kurusha ibindi byose.
Ibintu Bituma Umukobwa Yishima
- Mufate ukuboko: Niba uri kugendana n’umukobwa cyangwa se mwicaranye, ujye ugerageza umufate akaboko kuko bizatuma yumva ko muri kumwe yemwe azumva ko ntacyabatanya bityo bimugarurire ibyishimo.
- Musome mu ruhanga
- Jya umubwira ko umukunda buri munsi
- Niba afite agahinda, gerageza umubwire ko afite agaciro mu buzima bwawe kandi ko ibya mubabaje bitagomba kumuheza mu bwigunge.
- Jya umushimira niba agukoreye agakorwa gato, kuko icyo kintu gito kiba gisobanura ibintu byinshi.
- Muririmbire akaririmbo n’iyo waba nta jwi ryiza ufite
- Mwandikire utubaruwa
- Mukore mu musatsi
- Muterure mukine ibyo gukirana
- Musohokane mwicare ahantu mu busitani muganire
- Muganirize umubwire inkuru n’inzenya zisekeje
- Rimwe na rimwe ujye umureka asinziririre mu gituza cyawe.
Intambwe 4 zo Gusubirana n'Umukunzi Nyuma yo Gutandukana
Gutandukana kwa benshi mu bakundanaga biterwa ahanini n’ibintu bitari binini cyane, ariko icyo bihuriyeho ni uko n’ubundi icyo bigeraho ari kimwe: gutandukanya abakundanaga!
Ese birashoboka ko wagarura uwari umukunzi wawe nyuma y’igihe kinini atakuvugisha, atakwereka ko akigukeneye?
Byashoboka se ko bya bihe byiza mwagiranaga bibagarukira nyuma y’uburyo mwatandukanye nabi?
Aha ushobora no kwibaza ibibazo byinshi biguca intege, wibaza ko niba ubwo yagusize akagenda, icyo wakoresha cyose ngo akugarukire, niba bwo wakwizera ko azahaguma nabwo atazongera ngo agucike.
Ibi byose ni ibigenda biguca intege, iyo ubitekerejeho. Ariko se niba umukunda wabuzwa n’iki gufata ‘risk’ nk’uko benshi bajya babivuga?
Nk’uko twabibonye tugitangira, impamvu nyinshi z’abagabo/Abagore baca inyuma cyangwa se banatandukana n’abakunzi babo, ahanini biterwa n’uburyo baba babitwayeho. N’ubona rero uwo wakundaga yigendeye cyangwa ukabona atakikwishimiye, jya utangira wibaze ibi bibazo:
- Ese kuba mwaratandukanye byaba ari ikose ryawe?
- Ese haba ari andi makosa wakoze, n’iyo waba utayazi cyangwa utaranayahaga uburemere?
Ahanini ni nk’igihe wakundaga kumuburanya cyane, kutamusaba imbabazi wamukoshereje n’utundi tuntu duto ariko nyamara tumuremerera we.
Niba kuba mwaratandukanye usanze byaratewe n’ikosa ryawe, aho rwose birashoboka ko wagarura umukunzi wawe mukongera mukabana urukundo rukaganza.
Usibye n’ibyo kandi aha uraza kureba uburyo wamugaragariza uburyo yahombye kuba utakiri uwe, n’uburyo wakoresha kugira ngo agaruke agukomangire ku rugi agutakambire agusaba ko mwasubirana. Ntugire ubwoba humura biroshye!
Biragusaba gukurikiza izi ntambwe gusa:
1.Reka kumwereka ko umukeneye cyane cyangwa ko ubayeho nabi adahari
Ikintu cya mbere ugomba gukora ni ukugaragaza ibitandukanye n’ibyo urimo gutekereza, cyangwa wifuza ko biba: Reka kumwereka ko wifuza ko agaruka!
Yego birasa naho bitumvikana cyangwa ko ari nko kwivuguruza, ariko ndakubwiza ukuri , uko urushaho kumugarura, ni ko nawe arushaho kuguhunga.
Muri icyo gihe rero jya ukora nk’aho ntacyo wahombye kuba yaragusize, ujye umureka ajye muri gahunda ze, akore ibyo yifuza byose, nyuma azatangira kubona impamvu agukeneye, anakwifuza mu buzima bwe, azatangira noneho kujya abona ukuntu ubuzima bubishye udahari.
Mureke akore ibyo ashaka, ajye mu bandi bagabo/bagore, batembere, basangire…, amaherezo koko niba ari uwawe azabona ko icyo yaje akurikiye iwawe nta handi akibona akugarukire.
Icyo gihe kandi numureka akaba akora ibyo yishakira byose, nawe jya wigira muri gahunda zawe, we guhora umutegereje nta gahunda mufitanye y’igihe azagarukira.
2.Iyibutse ubuzima bwawe bwiza bwa mbere y’uko ukundana n’umukunzi wawe
Muri icyo gihe wari uri kumwe n’umukunzi wawe, hari byinshi wasize inyuma. Abantu benshi iyo bafite abo bakunda, ntibaba bifuza ko bagira ahandi bajya; nta zindi nshuti baba bumva bagendana, basangira.
Iki ni igihe cyo kubisubiramo, ntukomeze kwibabaza, ahubwo ukishyiramo ko uko bimeze kose ubuzima bugomba gukomeza kandi neza, ugasubira muri bwa buzima bwagushimishaga na mbere y’uko muhura.
Iyo watandukanye n’umukunzi wawe, utangira kwibaza no gutekereza abandi bari kumwe, uti ese ubu abo yahisemo bandusha iki, yabakurikiyeho iki se? n’ibindi nk’ibyo… Yego biragoye kwibuza gutekereza kuri ibi byose iyo ukimukunda, ariko niwumva ushaka kubyirinda jya wibuka ko uwo mwanya wawe upfusha ubusa umutekerezaho, utekereza ibyo arimo, we nta n’isegonda afite ryo kugutekerezaho cyane cyane ko aba yibereye mu bindi.
3.Gerageza kwiyitaho no kwiha umwanya uhagije
Niba uri umugore warakundaga kwisiga, kujya muri salon ukiyitaho, kwambara imyenda myiza, cyangwa igezweho, uri umugabo se warakundaga gukora sport, kwisiga parfum nziza… bikomeze. Wikwisuzugura kuko niba we atakikubona hari n’abandi bakureba, wigarurire icyizere, wumve wongeye kwikunda nyuma yo kubura uwo wakundaga. Subira mu isoko ugure imyenda mishya kandi myiza, ukomeze wiyiteho, uhure n’abandi bantu bashya, umenyane n’inshuti nshya kandi unatemberere ahantu hashya. Niba uri mu kazi ugakore neza kandi nibiba byiza uzanazamuke no mu ntera. Ibyo byose kandi ujye ukora uko ushoboye bimugereho.
Ushobora gukora uko ushoboye ukabonana n’inshuti ze, n’abavandimwe be, n’abo bakorana cyangwa se bigana bitewe n’icyo akora, bityo ntazabasha kwihanganira kutaguhamagara ngo akubaze amakuru. N’ubwo ibyo byose azabikora asa n’utakwitayeho, wowe ntihazagire icyo bigutwara, uzamureke atangazwe no kubona ukuntu ubayeho neza adahari.
Ariko se nyuma y’ibi hakurikiraho iki?
Ese witabye telefone aguhamaye agusaba ko wamugarukira wabyitwaramo ute? Ni gute wabigenza kugira ngo yongere akwiyumvemo nk’uko byahoze?
4.Ntuzigere na rimwe umwemerera ko bikomeza, akibikubwira ku nshuro ya mbere kuko bimwereka ko wari warihagazeho kandi nawe warashize! Ntuzigere na rimwe uhita uvuga “Yego” n’iyo yaba agusabye amahirwe ya nyuma!
Ahubwo musubize ko ukeneye umwanya wo kubitekerezaho.
Ibi ni ukubera iki?
Impamvu ni uko ashaka ko mwongera mugakundana kandi guhita umwemerera si byiza kuko bimwereka ko wari warabuze aho ujya. Humura azakomeza aguhamagare kugeza ubwo azumva bimugeze kure! Ubu noneho, ushobora gukomeza kubikora kugeza ubwo uzaba wizeye neza koko ko yifuza ko mwongera gukundana, ko afite impamvu ikomeye imuteye kugaruka kandi ko usobanuye byinshi kuri we; ubundi urukundo rugasagamba, amahoro, ituze n’umunezero bigataha mu buzima bwanyu mwembi.
Amakosa 7 Abakobwa Bakora mu Irambagizwa
Gushamadukira imibonano mpuzabitsina : n’ubwo ntagihe cyemeranywaho na bose cyo kuba abakundana bakora imibonano mpuzabitsina, wikwemera kuryamana n’ umuhungu utarakumenya neza ngo anakwiyumvemo kuko iyo ubikoze akubona nk’ akajiji akajya yumva agukeneye kubera izo gahunda gusa. Kumenya imiterere yawe y’ inyuma (physique) ntibihagije; umusore aba akeneye no kumenya indi myifatire yawe ngo akugire umukundwa (sweetheart). Kumwitondesha, ntushamadukire imibonano mpuzabitsina, ugategereza ko igihe kigera ni byo byiza.
2. Kumwibwira wese mukimenyana : Si byiza habe na mba kubwira umusore ku ikubitiro inkuru zibabaje z’ ubuto bwawe) cyangwa ibibazo byawe bwite cyangwa iby’ umuryango ukomokamo, kuko bituma akubona nk’ umuntu uje ahetse ibibazo. Yego abakundana baba bagomba kumenyana ndetse ntibanagire ibyo bakingana, ariko byose ntibikorwa umunsi umwe, bisaba igihe, uko abantu bagenda bamenyerana. Mutware buhoro buhoro, ugende umuhishurira amabanga yawe uko iminsi igenda ishira, wirinde guhita umubwira byose mugitangira iby’urukundo kuko ibyo biri muri bimwe bituma atakugirira amatsiko ndetse akanaguhararukwa vuba.
3. Kumuhamagara no kumwoherereza ubutumwa (SMS) kenshi cyane (bikabije): Ikindi ugomba kumenya ni uko abagabo bishimira abakobwa b’ inshuti bishakiye bo ubwabo kurusha ababishakiye. Bityo rero, guhoza telefone ku gutwi umuhamagara, kumwoherereza SMS na e-mails z’ urudaca ntibituma umwigarurira nk’ uko uba ubyifuza. Ni nayo mpamvu nukora aya makosa rimwe na rimwe uzajya umuhamagara akanga kuyifata, wakohereza SMS ntagusubize ngo umenye uko yayakiriye.
4. Kumwigiraho maneko: Yewe guhora umucunga iyo agiye, abo ari kumwe nabo ku buryo iyo umubonanye n’ undi mukobwa wihutira kumubaza ibyo baba bapanga, bishobora guhungabanya umubano wanyu. Ahubwo wowe mwereke ko umukunda, numunyura bizaba bihagije ngo areke abo bakobwa bandi keretse aramutse afite ingeso y’ ubushurashuzi.
5. Kumuhisha utugeso twe wanga: Kubera uburyo uba umukeneye hari ibyo akora bikagushegesha ariko ukanga kubimwereka ngo atakwanga. Uba wiyaruriraho amakara kuko izo ngeso azazikomeza, mu gihe nyamara iyo uza kumusaba wenda aba yarakumviye.Tekereza rero aramutse agushyize mu rugo uko byazagenda hagati yanyu nk’ abantu biyemeje kubana akaramata! Hari igihe cyagera ntubyihanganire kandi nawe atagishoboye guhinduka, bikaba ibibazo gusa.
6. Kumva ko azahinduka : Abantu ,cyane cyane abagabo, ntibapfa guhinduka uko bagenda baba bakuru. Rero niba hari ingeso nyinshi afite ubona utakwihanganira, byaba byiza umwihoreye ugashaka undi muhuje.
7. Kwisuzugura: Yego urukundo ruba rukeneye kuvomererwa no kuhirwa ku buryo buhoraho, ariko kuruha umwanya mwinshi cyane kugera aho wowe ubura uko kwiyitaho byaba ari ubugoryi! Gerageza byose ubijyanire hamwe, kuko umuntu umuha agaciro ari uko nawe ubwe abanje kukiha. Ushobora gushaka kumuharira umwanya wose, yabona utiyitaho akisangira abiyitaho wowe ukaburiramo.
2. Kumwibwira wese mukimenyana : Si byiza habe na mba kubwira umusore ku ikubitiro inkuru zibabaje z’ ubuto bwawe) cyangwa ibibazo byawe bwite cyangwa iby’ umuryango ukomokamo, kuko bituma akubona nk’ umuntu uje ahetse ibibazo. Yego abakundana baba bagomba kumenyana ndetse ntibanagire ibyo bakingana, ariko byose ntibikorwa umunsi umwe, bisaba igihe, uko abantu bagenda bamenyerana. Mutware buhoro buhoro, ugende umuhishurira amabanga yawe uko iminsi igenda ishira, wirinde guhita umubwira byose mugitangira iby’urukundo kuko ibyo biri muri bimwe bituma atakugirira amatsiko ndetse akanaguhararukwa vuba.
3. Kumuhamagara no kumwoherereza ubutumwa (SMS) kenshi cyane (bikabije): Ikindi ugomba kumenya ni uko abagabo bishimira abakobwa b’ inshuti bishakiye bo ubwabo kurusha ababishakiye. Bityo rero, guhoza telefone ku gutwi umuhamagara, kumwoherereza SMS na e-mails z’ urudaca ntibituma umwigarurira nk’ uko uba ubyifuza. Ni nayo mpamvu nukora aya makosa rimwe na rimwe uzajya umuhamagara akanga kuyifata, wakohereza SMS ntagusubize ngo umenye uko yayakiriye.
4. Kumwigiraho maneko: Yewe guhora umucunga iyo agiye, abo ari kumwe nabo ku buryo iyo umubonanye n’ undi mukobwa wihutira kumubaza ibyo baba bapanga, bishobora guhungabanya umubano wanyu. Ahubwo wowe mwereke ko umukunda, numunyura bizaba bihagije ngo areke abo bakobwa bandi keretse aramutse afite ingeso y’ ubushurashuzi.
5. Kumuhisha utugeso twe wanga: Kubera uburyo uba umukeneye hari ibyo akora bikagushegesha ariko ukanga kubimwereka ngo atakwanga. Uba wiyaruriraho amakara kuko izo ngeso azazikomeza, mu gihe nyamara iyo uza kumusaba wenda aba yarakumviye.Tekereza rero aramutse agushyize mu rugo uko byazagenda hagati yanyu nk’ abantu biyemeje kubana akaramata! Hari igihe cyagera ntubyihanganire kandi nawe atagishoboye guhinduka, bikaba ibibazo gusa.
6. Kumva ko azahinduka : Abantu ,cyane cyane abagabo, ntibapfa guhinduka uko bagenda baba bakuru. Rero niba hari ingeso nyinshi afite ubona utakwihanganira, byaba byiza umwihoreye ugashaka undi muhuje.
7. Kwisuzugura: Yego urukundo ruba rukeneye kuvomererwa no kuhirwa ku buryo buhoraho, ariko kuruha umwanya mwinshi cyane kugera aho wowe ubura uko kwiyitaho byaba ari ubugoryi! Gerageza byose ubijyanire hamwe, kuko umuntu umuha agaciro ari uko nawe ubwe abanje kukiha. Ushobora gushaka kumuharira umwanya wose, yabona utiyitaho akisangira abiyitaho wowe ukaburiramo.
Amabanga 10 yo Kugarura Umunezero mu Rukundo
Nyuma y’ibyo bibazo byose, umuti si uguhita ubivamo, banza ahubwo wisuzumme, usuzume n’umukunzi wawe, mwembi musuzumane, mumenye neza ikibazo gihari kuko birashoboka ko gikemuka maze mukongera mugakomeza urukundo rwanyu mutishishanya.
Dore ibintu icumi bishobora gutuma umunezero ugaruka mu rukundo rwanyu
1. Ntimukiganira bihagije, none gerageza ugarure uwo muco hagati yanyu
Icyica umubano mwiza utagira amakaraza mu rukundo rwanyu ni uko akenshi usanga umwe muri mwe ashobora guhora yumva undi ariko agasa n’aho we adafite uburenganzira bwo kuvuga icyo yifuza mu rukundo rwanyu. Ugahora wumva ugomba gushimisha uwo mukundana kabone n’aho wowe waba utabyishimiye.
Niba hari aho wifuza kujya kandi ukaba wumva byagushimisha ujyanye n’uwo wihebeye, mubaze niba nawe abishaka kandi ubimusabe hakiri kare kugira ngo nawe umuhe umwanya wo kubitekerezaho.
Niba hari cyo akubwiye ko kitamushimishije, mwumve umusobanuze neza maze ugerageze kukireka kabone n’aho cyaba kigoye, ugikorere ko umukunda kandi wamurutushije abandi.
2. Wasanga nyamara n’ubwo mubana cyangwa mumaze igihe mukundana mutaziranye. Guhera uyu munsi gerageza ufate umwanya uhagije wo kumenyana
Nk’uko mu kinyarwanda bivugwa, burya ngo ntazibana zidakomanya amahembe, ni nayo mpamvu mu bantu bakundana bidashoboka ko usanga bahuza mu bintu byose. Hari ibyo mugeraho ntimwumvikane ndetse rimwe na rimwe mukananirana.
Ikindi kandi mu guhura kw’abakundana ntibaba baziranye bihagije, biba ari ngombwa rero ko bafata umwanya wo kumenyana umwe akamenya icyo umukunzi we akunda n’icyo yanga, akamenya ibimubabaza n’ibimushimisha ndetse n’ibindi byose.
Ni byiza ko bamenyana mu buryo buhagije. Usanga benshi mu bakundana biyoberanya cyangwa bakishushashanya ku bakunzi babo ntibababwize ukuri cyangwa ngo babihishurire neza abo baribo, nyamara burya biba byiza cyane iyo umukunzi wawe umwiyeretse wese kuko burya iyo agukunda aba agukundira ibyiza n’ibibi byawe n’ubwo aba ashobora kugufasha gukosora bimwe mu bitagenda neza cyangwa ‘ibibi’.
3. Ese aho ntiwikunda cyane, ukihugiraho wenyine, ukumva utuntu twose watwiharira? Gerageza Kugirira no kugaragariza ubuntu umukunzi wawe.
Ubuntu hano buvugwa ntabwo ari ubujyanye n’ibintu bifatika gusa.
Ni ukwita ku mukunzi wawe muri byose, ibyo yagusabye n’ibyo atagusabye, mu byo yibuka n’ibyo atibuka. Ni ukureba icyabera cyiza umukunzi wawe, ukamukunda n’umutima wawe wose kandi ugahora witeguye kumuha ubufasha akeneye mu gihe cyose.
4. Hari igihe wasanga gucira bugufi no kubaha umukunzi wawe bikugora, kandi nyamara ari ikintu gikomeye kandi cyari gikwiye mu rukundo rwanyu
Burya umuntu ukunda, uzi neza ko nawe agukunda, akurutisha abantu bose, ugera aho ukumva nta kumwishishaho na gato ufite. Iyo utabyitwayemo neza, cyangwa ngo ubicungire hafi, bigera aho ukamuca amazi (ukamusuzugura) nk’uko bajya babivuga ku buryo usigara ari we utubaha mu bantu bose.
Byakabaye byiza gukomeza kwitwararika kabone n’aho mwaba mumaranye igihe kinini gute.
Si byiza kumva ko mwamenyeranye cyane ngo utangire wumve ntacyo akikubwiye, ngo umubwire ibyo wiboneye byose. Burya ni byiza ko umwifungurira ukamubwira ibyo utekereza, ariko kandi burya ntukarengere , ni byiza kumenya aho ugomba kugarukira kugira ngo utava aho umukomeretsa.
5. Hari abantu benshi bahora bahora basa n’abihugiyeho, ariko biba byiza iyo uhaye umwanya uhagije umukunzi wawe.
Ni ngombwa gufata umwanya kandi uhagije w’umukunzi wawe. Si byiza kuri ba bantu bakunda kureba za filimi cyangwa kureba imipira y’amaguru cyane, batinda mu tubari se, ku buryo bibagirwa cyangwa se babura n’umwanya w’abakunzi babo. Niba kandi utashye uvuye ku kazi, ugeze mu rugo gerageza guha umwanya abo uhasanze, utandukanye akazi no mu rugo. Muri iki gihe kubera ikoranabuhanga, abantu benshi ntibakibona umwanya uhagije bagenera abo mu rugo; n’iyo batashye bavuye ku kazi bahitira kuri za mudasobwa, kuri za facebook n’ibindi bishobora kubatwara umwanya bakibagirwa abo batashye basanga. Nyamara ibi si byiza na buke kuko umukunzi (umugore/umugabo) wawe aba agukeneye kandi agutegereje.
6. Guhora mureshyanya
Iyo mukundana mugera aho mukagira ngo byararangiye mukumva bisa nk’aho inshingano mwari mufite zarangiye. Ni ngombwa rero ko muhora mureshyanya (seduire), ugahora wumva buri gihe ukwiye guhora usa neza imbere y’umukunzi wawe. Burya kandi biba byiza iyo mubanyeho nk’aho buri munsi ari bwo mukibonana; ugahora wumva ushaka gukora kuri mugenzi wawe, kumubwira ko ari mwiza, kumutera imitoma, n’ibindi biranga abantu ba(gi)kundana.
Burya si byiza ku bagore bamwe na bamwe, bagera mu rugo bagahita batangira kwicupiza, ntibiyiteho ku buryo usanga abagabo babo baba basigaye basa n’aho banafite isoni zo gusohokana nabo, rimwe na rimwe ugasanga bibaye n’intandaro yo kubaca inyuma.
Niba uri mu rugo n’umukunzi wawe, jya wiyitaho, ube usa neza, wereke umukunzi wawe ko umukunda kandi ko ukiri mwiza kugira ngo ajye ahora abona ko yatomboye kuko nta wundi musa.
Mu rukundo jya wibuka ko utari nk’umuntu ureba filimi gusa, ko ahubwo uri umukinnyi wayo kandi w’imena, bityo umenye ko ugomba gukora uko ushoboye kose ngo urusigasire.
7. Mu bibangamira urukundo kenshi harimo kutizerana, ese aho wari uziko iyo utizera umukunzi wawe uba usa n’urimo kumutiza umurindi wo kuguca inyuma?!
Birashoboka ko ibi waba wenda warabisubiriwemo kenshi ntubyumve, ariko menya ko nta rukundo rushobora gutera imbere mu gihe nta kwizerana hagati y’abakundana.
Ni ngombwa kumva ko umwizeye, ntugahore wumva wacunga abamuhamagara, ubutumwa bugufi yakiriye cyangwa ubutumwa bwoherezwa kuri interineti emailsbumugeraho.
Hari n’ababa bifuza kumenya mot de passe (amagambo tw’ibanga) abakunzi babo bakoresha kuri emails zabo, jya ugerageza wirinde kutamwizera, ugerageze kurwanya ibitekerezo bikumvisha ko akubeshya cyangwa ko aguca inyuma, kuko nta handi bikugeza usibye kugusenyera.
Hari abantu bamwe babona nta mwanya wo kuganiriza abakunzi babo bajya babona, bityo bagahitamo kubaganiriza bari ku meza, ari naho bababariza ibitabashimishije. Burya si byiza kuko icyo gihe n’iyo waba wamuteguriye ifunguro ryiza adashobora kuryoherwa, ugasanga ushobora kuba usa n’uwakoreye ubusa.
Ikindi kandi niba hari ikibazo muhuye na cyo mu rukundo rwanyu, ntukagifate nk’aho ari iherezo rya byose kuko ntibishoboka ko uba mu rukundo rutigera na rimwe rugira ibibazo, n’iyo byaba nta gushidikanya haba harimo ikindi kibazo utazi cyangwa utarabona.
8. Nimugerageze kugira umushinga mukorana
Ni byiza ko mu rukundo mugira umushinga waba ari muto cyangwa munini mugirana kuko bibafasha kwegerana no gushyira hamwe. Ntiwirirwe utekereza kure kuko ntabwo umushinga ari itegeko ko uba ikintu kinini gusa, ushobora kuba urugendo runaka mutegurana, guteganya kubyara no kurerera hamwe uwo mwana, kuvugurura inzu, gufatanya kuyitera irangi, kujya guhaha muri week-end, n’ibindi byoroshye ariko kandi biryoha iyo mubikoranye.
9. Kwiherera
Buri muntu aba akeneye igihe cyo kuba ari kumwe n’umukunzi we gusa, nta wundi muntu uza kubabangamira, ni byiza pe! Birashoboka kandi ko hari n’ikindi gihe aba yumva akeneye kuba ari wenyine, akitekerezaho, agatekereza ku mukunzi we, agasubira mu twandiko twa kera yandikiranaga n’inshuti ze, cyangwa mu tundi tuntu twose yaba yarakundaga kera ubu atakibonera umwanya.
Ibi bishobora kuba, umukunzi wawe agatekereza ko ahari yaba yagukoshereje atabizi cyangwa ko waba ufite ikindi atazi cyakubabaje, ni byiza rero kubanza ukamubwira ko ukeneye umwanya wo kwiherera n’uwo kuba wenyine kandi ukamubwira ko nta kindi kibazo ufite kugira ngo ataza guhangayika. Si ngombwa rwose ko abakundana bahorana, aho bagiye hose bakajyana, aho ubonye umwe ugahita uhabona n’undi, kuko ibyo bituma basa n’aho bamenyerana cyane, cya kintu cyagukuruye cyane ukabona uwo muntu adasanzwe kikazagera aho kigashira kubera guhorana; ni byiza ko musigirana umwanya wo gukumburana, ukamubona usa n’ubonekewe.
10. Kugira umukunzi ntibivuze kwambikwa amapingu, gerageza kwigenga
Kuba ufite umukunzi kandi ukunda cyane, ntibivuze kumwimariramo ngo wumve ko adahari nta cyo waba uri cyo, yewe ko nta n’icyo wakwishoboza cyagwa wakwigezaho.
Si byiza kumva ko ari we ukugize, kuko ibi bikugira ho ingaruka mbi mu gihe mutakiri kumwe cyangwa hari ikindi kitagenze neza, kuko burya ubuzima budateguza.
Ni byiza ko buri wese akomeza kuba uwo yari na mbere y’uko muhura, akaguma akaba we ubwe, kabone n’aho mubana kandi mukundana. Burya ni byiza ko hari gahunda ukomeza kugira ku giti cyawe, nko gusohokana n’inshuti zawe, gusangira nazo, kuzitumira mu rugo, kujya koga(piscine), kwiga umuziki, kubyina n’ibindi bidasaba uruhare rwe.
Uramukunda pe, ariko ntabwo ari byose kuri wowe, hari ubundi buzima ukeneye kubaho uko ubyumva bipfa kuba gusa bitamubangamiye. Gusa jya ureba neza kandi nturengere kuko n’iyo mugize ubuzima butandukanye cyane kandi mubana na byo bishobora kubagora ndetse bikaba byanabaviramo gutandukana cyangwa n’izindi ntonganya. Ibi bizabafasha kugira urukundo ruryoshye, ruri nta makemwa kandi ruzamara igihe kirekire ‘rutoshye’.
Inama 6 Zo Guhitamo Impano Izashimisha Umuhungu'Umugabo Ukunda
Ubushakashatsi bwakozwe bwagaragaje ko kugurira umwana impano cyangwa se umukobwa ngo byoroha ugereranyije no kugurira umugabo cyangwa se umuhungu mukundana.
Abagabo benshi batekereza ibintu bimwe; baba bumva akenshi impano zabo ari iz’amasogisi, utwambaro tw’imbere cyangwa karavate.
1. Niba hari imikino cyangwa igitaramo rimwe na rimwe ujye umugurira itike yo kwinjira
Iyi ni imwe mu mpano ishobora gushimisha abagabo, yaba abubatse, abatandukanye n’abagore babo, abakiri gutereta n’abatarushinga. Niba rero wasohokanye n’umukunzi wawe agiye kureba umukino w’ikipe akunda cyangwa se agiye mu gitaramo cy’ itsinda ry’abaririmbyi akunda cyangwa umuhanzi akunda kugira ngo umushimishe kurushaho ujye umugurira itike yo kwinjira atabizi maze nimugera aho mwinjirira uyimutunguze, azahita abona ko umwitaho, ko ibyo aha agaciro n’ibimushimisha ubibona.
2. Mukorere urutonde rw’amafilime cyangwa amakinamico akunda uyamushyirire kuri DVD player
Niba umugabo/umukunzi wawe akoresha amafaranga menshi akugurira indabo, imyambaro n’amaherena kubera iki wowe utareba akantu umuha koroheje nko kumukorera urutonde rwa filime cyangwa amakinamico akunda ukayamushyirira kuri DVD cyangwa CD hanyuma ukazayimuha igihe muri kumwe cyangwa se wamusuye.
3. Cagura indirimbo uzi akunda uzimushyirire kuri CD player
Nta mpamvu yo guhora uha umugabo wawe cyangwa se umusore mukundana impano zihenze, rimwe na rimwe ujye unyuzamo umucagurire uturirimbo uzi ko akunda nurangiza utumushyiririre kuri CD bizajya bituma igihe yicaye arimo kuzumva agutekerezaho. Niba rero harimo izo mwumva muri kumwe zijya zimwibitsa ibihe byiza mwagiranye bituma abona ko umuzirikana buri gihe kandi umuhoza ku mutima.
4. Muhe impano y’imyenda mu gihe ubona ayikeneye
Nubona umugabo wawe arimo ashaka kugura imyambaro mishya cyangwa se arimo guhamagara mu maduka bacuruza imyenda ababwira ko ayikeneye, kubera iki wowe utahera kuri icyo ngo noneho uzamuhe impano y’uwo mwenda yifuza? Ugomba ariko kwitwararika ukamenya imyenda ibera umukunzi wawe, atari ukugenda ngo ugure ibyo ubonye byose.
5. Mugurire akuma gateka cyangwa se agashyushya icyayi
Nugurira umukunzi wawe aka kuma gashyushya icyayi bizatuma adatakaza imbaraga nyinshi kugirango akore icyayi, niba kandi atanagikunda bizatuma azajya agira imbaraga zo kukinywa kubera impano wamuhaye. Ikindi kandi, bizatuma umugabo wawe yishimira kugukorera icyayi igihe icyo ari cyo cyose .
6. Mugurire ikofi cyangwa se isaha
Impano nk’izi ni impano abantu batangiye gukundana cyangwa se guteretana bakoresha. Ibi byereka umuhungu/umukunzi wawe ko umwitayeho. Guha rero umusore mukundana cyangwa umugabo wawe ikofi bizatuma agira isuku mu mifuka ye kandi uko azajya ayikura mu mufuka agiye kuremo cyangwa kwishyura azajya ahora akwibuka.
Ingingo 7 zo Kuganira ku Mafaranga nk'Abakundana
1. Ujye ugira ubupfura mu gihe uvuga ku bijyanye n’amafaranga yawe
Uko utekereje kuri iyi ngingo ni ko urushaho kubona ukuntu abantu bakundana bibagora kuvugisha ukuri ku bijyanye n’amafaranga yabo.
Rimwe na rimwe, haba ukoresha amafaranga mu bintu atavuganyeho n’umukunzi we, ntatinyuke kuba yamubwiza ukuri aho yagiye, ubundi ugasanga hari ufite konti ye ku ruhande atajya abwira umukunzi we.
Ibi rero si byiza na gato mu rukundo kuko iyo umukunzi wawe abimenye bimubabaza cyane kandi akaba yanatangira kwibaza ko hari n’ibindi byinshi umukinga bitari ibyo. Ni koko, ntibyoroshye pe, ariko burya kubivugaho kandi ukavugisha ukuri, yaba ari imyenda ufitecyangwa amafaranga wakoresheje, bitanga amahoro cyane mu rukundo kandi bigatuma mugirana icyizere cyane.
2. Iregere amakosa wakoze cyangwa n’izindi ngeso zawe zitari nziza mu gukoresha amafaranga
Niba hari amakosa wakoze mu gukoresha amafaranga yawe cyangwa se yanyu nka couple, n’ubundi ibyo byarangije kuba wita umwanya mwishi ubitekerezaho cyangwa ubimuhisha.
Bimubwire kandi mushakire hamwe igisubizo kandi umusabe imbabazi ndetse wirengere ingaruka z’ibikorwa bibi byawe, ntiwemere ko bimugwaho kandi nta ruhare yabigizemo, umwemerere ko utazabisubira kandi koko guhera ubwo ntuzigere na rimwe ubisubira.
3. Si byiza kugarura ibibazo by’amafaranga bya kera
Ibyinshi mu biganiro hagati y’abashakanye bishobora kubafatira umwanya munini ni ibiba bijyanye n’amafaranga n’ikoreshwa ryayo. Imodoka cyangwa inzu nshya bagiye kugura, ingendo bashaka gukora kandi zibasaba amafaranga menshi, umunsi mukuru bateganyanya gukora ukomeye, n’ibindi. Muri ibi byose kenshi usanga atari ko babyumvikanaho kimwe, ugasanga akenshi habamo impaka nyinshi, usibye kandi n’izi ntonganya zishobora kubaho mbere, hari n’izindi ngo nyinshi ushobora kumva zihora zitongana, zivugana nabi kubera ibibazo zigeze kugira kera biturutse ku mafaranga.
Si byiza rero kugarura ibi bibazo kandi byararangiye kuko bizana intonganya z’ubusa mu rugo kuko niba ari uwumva aba yarumvise icyo gihe ubimubwira, niba kandi atumva n’ubundi icyo wakora cyose ntiyakumva; kubigarura byaba ari nko gukora ubusa.
4. Niba mu biganiro byanyu udashobora kumwubahira urukundo umufitiye, nibura ibuka ikinyabupfura n’icyubahiro umugomba
Uburakari ubwo ari bwo bwose waba ufite igihe urimo kuganira n’umukunzi wawe ku ngingo runaka mutarimo kumvikanaho neza, si byiza ko umwubahuka ngo umusuzugure cyangwa ngo umutuke.
Mu kuvuga ku byerekeranye n’amafaranga n’ikoreshwa ryayo mu bakundana nk’uko twabonye ko biri mu biganiro bishobora gutuma abashakanye barakaranya, jya ugerageza gukomeza kuba wowe Nyirizina, umenye aho kwihangana kwawe kurangirira n’aho uburakari bwawe butangirira, umenye kwifata no kwihangana mu gihe ubona ko bigeze kure.
5. Baza ibibazo byinshi umukunzi wawe, shakisha uko wumva uburyo afata cyangwa akoresha amafaranga ye
Aho kugira go umutegeke ko akoresha amafaranga cyangwa ayafata mu buryo wifuza, gerageza kumubaza ibibazo byinshi, umusobanuze mu buryo bwose ku buryo usobanukirwa uko we ayakoresha n’ibyo yifuza gukora.
Burya iyo wumva kandi usobanukiwe neza n’imiterere y’umukunzi wawe n’uburyo afata ibintu ntabwo bikugora kimwe no kuba utabyumva. Niba muri mo kuganira ku bijyanye n’amafaranga, ntugahite urakara cyangwa ngo ushake ko atekereza nkawe kuko buri wese agomba kugumana uburenganzira bwe, ahubwo wenda mukumvikana uburyo mwese mwahuriza hamwe.
6. Ntukabwire nabi umukunzi wawe cyangwa ngo umugaye imbere y’uwo ari we wese
Twese iyo twagize ikibazo runaka tuba twifuza ko cyashira, tukifuza uwo twakibwira kugira ngo kidusohokemo, ariko kandi kuvuga umukunzi wawe nabi cyangwa kumusebya imbere y’inshuti ze cyangwa se zawe cyangwa n’undi muntu wese, burya ntabwo biba byiza na gato. Ni yo mpamvuu banavuga ko imyenda isa nabi imeserwa mu mbere, ntabwo ari byiza ko mwishyira hanze. Niba udashoboye kugabanya ‘stress’ uterwa n’ibibazo by’amafaranga mugirana, jya ushaka umujyanama w’abakundana akuganirize, cyangwa se undi muntu usobanukiwe neza n’uburyo amafaranga akoreshwa akugire inama y’uburyo mwajya mubyitwaramo.
7. Jya wibuka kumenya aho kwihangana kwawe kurangirira bityo niwumva uburakari ari bwinshi, umusabe ko mwaba mucumbitse ikiganiro mu minota mike kugira ngo ubanze ufate imbaraga n’undi mwuka.
Hari igihe rwose bigera kure, impaka ari nyinshi, aho kugira ngo mube mwakubahukana, ni byiza ko mufata umwanya mukaba mubihagaritse mwakumva nta kibazo mushobora kongera mukavugana mukaba aribwo wongera.
Imico 3 Isenya Urukundo
1. Ntukaremereze utuntu duto
Niba umukunzi wawe akoze agakosa, ntugahite ubikuririza ngo bimere nk’aho yaciye inka amabere nk’uko bajya babivuga. Buri wese afite uburenganzira bwo gukosa, ikibi ni ukubigira akamenyero. Tuvuge, niba ajugunye imyenda hejuru y’uburiri akagenda atayizinze ngo ayisubize mu kabati, ntukamere nk’aho akoze ikindi kintu gikomeye ahubwo wowe jya umuruta uyifate uyizinge uyimusubirize mu kabati kandi ubikorane umutima mwiza utinuba, ni bwo nawe azakureberaho urugero kandi noneho ubutaha akabikora.
Niba akunda gukina imikino yo kuri teleiziyo nk’uko bigaragara ku ifoto, wowe ukaba utabikunda, ntukamurakarire; jya umureka yikinire, gusa umwereke ko wowe utabikunda. Uzaba ureba, ubutaha azajya aza abanze akubaze icyo ushaka kureba kuko ubushize yabonye ko umwihanganira kabone n’iyo wowe utabikunda, azabigirira ko ujya umuha amahoro maze nawe ayaguhe kandi yishimye.
2. Ntukamufatire ibihano kuri buri kantu kose akoze
Guhana umukunzi wawe kuri buri kantu kose akoze udakunda ntacyo bizafasha urukundo rwanyu, usibye guhora mwese murakaranya. Hari abantu bamwe babura icyo bakora iyo abakunzi babo bakoze ibintu batishimira bagahitamo kubashakira ibihano. Ibi bihano bishobora kuba kutavugana nabo mu gihe cy’iminsi ibiri cyangwa inarenze, gutaha bagahita biryamira yakuvugisha ukamusubiza nabi, kumuhisha ibintu bimwe uziko ajya akoresha bikakubangamira (nk’imikino ajya akina, ibitabo ajya asoma akakwima umwanya,) n’ibindi…
Burya akenshi birakubabaza, bikagushengura umutima, aho kugira ngo ubyitwaremo utyo, jya ugerageza kureba ibyiza akora, ugerageze kureba uruhande rwe rwiza kandi wumve ibyo biguhagije; ubundi uzaba ureba ukuntu bizamukora ku mutima agahinduka ubwe nta zindi mbaraga ushyizeho, kubera izo mbuto nziza wamwereye, witwara gutyo.
3. Ntugahatirize
Hari igihe umukunzi wawe ashobora kugukorera ikosa, ukamubabarira ari nko kumwikiza, kubera ko wabuze uko ugira; akenshi ugahora ubyibuka cyangwa ugahora wumva usa n’umurwariye inzika, usa n’uwifuza nawe umunsi umwe kuzamwishyura iryo kosa yagukoreye, ukabona kuruhuka! Kenshi ugerageza no kubyikuramo bikakunanira neza neza, ukagerageza kwishyiramo ko wamubabariye kandi ko wishimanye nawe ariko wakwisuzuma ukumva urasa n’urimo kwibeshya. Sigaho kwirwaza umutima, rekera aho niba wumva byanze, nta tegeko ufite ryo kugumana nawe niba wumva urukundo rwari rubahuje rutagihari kuko ni ryo shingiiro ry’umubano wanyu. Gusa umwegere ubimubwire udahubutse, kuko burya iyo we akigukunda cyangwa se akaba atari abyiteguye biramuremerera cyane kumva ko umusezeye, ko utagishaka kubana nawe.
Mu rukundo, jya wirinda guhubuka no guhatiriza ngo ukore ibitakurimo ushaka kumushimisha, wirinde kandi no kumukomeretsa mu gihe ubimubwira kuko burya umuntu mwigeze kubana n’iyo mwatandukana, ntibiba ari byiza ko mutandukana nabi.
Intambwe 7 Zo Guhitamo Impano Izashimisha Umukobwa/Umugore Ukunda
Niba umugore/umukunzi wawe akunda amaherena, ibikomo, imyenda, filimi, cyangwa imikino yo kuri mudasobwa uzabimushakire bizamunezeza. Gusa ugomba kwitonda kugira ngo utagura ikintu umukunzi wawe afite kuko nuramuka umuguriye ikintu yari asanzwe atunze nta bwo bizamushimisha cyane nk’uko wamuha icyo akunda kandi adafite.
Ikindi kintu cyashimisha umukunzi/umugore wawe, ni ukumutungura ukamutekera ibiryo akunda. Banza umenye ubwoko bw’ibiryo akunda, ubimutekere atabizi ubundi nataha mubisangire. Ushobora kandi kugenda ukabimugurira ubundi ukabimushyira aho ari (mu rugo cyangwa iwabo niba ari umukobwa); ibi bizamushimisha kuko azabona ko umuhoza ku mutima.
Niba ugiye kumugurira impano y’imyambaro ugomba kubanza ukamenya ubwoko bw’amabara akunda ukabona kumugurira umwenda; nugura ibara adakunda uzaba ukoreye ubusa kuko atazawambara cyangwa akawambara rimwe (wenda muri busohokane cyangwa buhure) kugira ngo agushimishe ubundi akawubika kure.
Ku birebana n’injyana cyangwa se muzika ni byiza ko wamenya ubwoko mbw’indirimbo umukobwa mukundana akunda kumva, ibi bikazagufasha igihe uzaba ugiye guhitamo izo washyira kuri CD cyangwa DVD wamuha nk’impano.
Ibi ni bimwe mu bitekerezo byagufasha guhitamo impano waha umukunzi wawe, ariko ntawavuga ibyo ushobora guhitamo ngo abirangize ahubwo ni ahawe kumenya icyo akunda kuko burya abantu bakunda ibintu bitandukanye.
Mu gihe noneho utazi ikintu na kimwe akunda (cyane kuri ba bandi baba bagitangira kumenyana/guteretana), gerageza ushake umuntu ubaza ibyo umukunzi wawe akunda; ariko uzirinde kugenda ubaza buri wese kuko inkuru niba kimomo bikamugeraho ibyo uzamugurira nta gaciro na gato azabiha.
2. Gerageza kumenya neza umukobwa mukundana; usobanukirwe uwo ari we
Mbere yo kugira impano uhitiramo umukunzi wawe w’umukobwa ugomba kubanza ukamumenya neza, ukamenya niba ari umuntu ushishikazwa no guhabwa impano izo ari zo zose cyangwa niba ari umuntu ukunda ibintu bike, byoroheje, bihenze,... Niba ari umuntu ukunda ibintu bike, gerageza umenye ibyo bike akunda abe ari byo uzakoresha ugiye kumuha impano (cadeau). Nk’urugero, ashobora gusa kuba akunda chocolate nk’ikiribwa cyangwa se akunda n’ibintu birimo ibara rya chocola, nujya kugura rero uzayibandeho.
3. Reba ibintu akoresha iyo ari mu gihe cye cyo kuruhaka
Jya ugerageza gushakisha umenye ikintu akunda gukora mu gihe nta kazi afite. Urugero rwa hafi umuntu yatanga ni nk’igihe wenda ushobora gusanga iyo aruhuka akunda kuba ari kwandika cyangwa gushushanya. Niba rero mu gihe aruhuka aba arimo ashushanya, uzamugurire agakayi gato bashushanyamo (sketbook) ugaherekereshe ikaramu y’igiti (pencil) azajya akoresha ashushanya. Iyi mpano nta kabuza izamushimisha kurusha n’ibindi bindi watekereza. Zirikana ko mu gihe azaba arimo kwandika muri aka gakaye wamuguriye na buri nshuro akabumbuye azajya ahita akwibuka.
4. Ugomba kumenyana n’inshuti ze ndetse na mama we by’umwihariko
Impamvu nyamukuru ugomba gushaka ubu bucuti n’abantu bo hafi ye (barimo na Mama we) ni uko inshuti y’umuntu ndetse n’umubyeyi ari bo bantu bashobora kuba bamuzi neza, cyane ko ari bo bamarana igihe kinini. Iyi ni yo nzira nziza yo kumenya icyo umukunzi wawe akunda biciye muri aba bantu kandi bikazatuma umugurira impano adafite kuko uzaba wabibajije abantu bamuhora iruhande.
5. Ugomba kumenya ko n’igihe ufite amafaranga make ugomba guha impano umukunzi wawe
Utuntu duko duto tudasaba amafaranga menshi natwo turakora mu rukundo. Urugero, ushobora kumugurira akarabo gato gaherekejwe n’amagambo y’urukundo wenda ukaba wakwandikaho uti: “Mpora ngutekerezaho igihe cyose”. Ibi bizamushimisha kuko niyo uwo mukobwa yaba adakunda indabo amagambo uzandikaho niyo azahita aha agaciro kurusha ururabo uzaba wamuhaye.
6. Mu mpano uzatanga ntuzigere uha umukobwa impano y’amafaranga
Burya amafaranga nta bwo abarirwa mu mpano. Aho kugira ngo uhe umukobwa amafaranga ugomba kugeregeza ukamenya ikintu akeneye ubundi akaba ari cyo umugurira cyangwa se ukareba ikintu umukorera muri ayo mafaranga wateganyaga kumuha.
7. Nujya kugurira umukobwa mukundana imitako cyangwa imyenda ntukamugurire ibihendutse cyane.
Burya abakobwa benshi bakunda ibintu bisa naho bigezweho. Ibyo bintu kandi akenshi biba bihenze. Numugurira ikintu gihenze rero azishima cyane. Aha twavuga nk’ ubwoko bw’ imyambaro buzwi kandi bugezweho muri iyo minsi. Gusa ntibivuze ko ugomba kwishakamo ubushobozi udafite ugamije gushimisha umukunzi, ahubwo bivuze ko utagomba kureba nanone cya kindi kiri ku giciro cyo hasi kurusha ibindi. Aha kandi bivuze ko ushobora kumugurira ikintu gihendutse ariko kigezweho kandi uzi neza ko akunda.
Impano ni uburyo bwiza cyane bwo gushimisha umukunzi. Niba rero ugiye gushakira umukobwa ukunda impano, ni byiza ko ubitekerezaho witonze, ukabanza ukamenya ikintu ari bukunde ubundi nawe ugishakire kutakibura. Kandi uzagerageze kumuha ikintu kizajya kimutandukanya n’ abandi kikaba umwihariko kuri we.
Uburyo 4 bwo Gufasha Umukunzi Kumererwa Neza
1 Jya usohokana na we, ugende usa neza nka cya gihe uko wabaga witwararitse igihe agutumira bwa mbere. Igihe mwasohokanye jya umwereka ko ntacyo wishisha kandi ko nta we umubangikanya nawe: Ibi ushobora kubimwereka umusoma ku mugaragaro mu bandi bantu bari aho, umubwira kandi uvuga cyane ko umukunda kandi ko utazamureka n’ibindi byose bishobora kumwereka ko udafite isoni z’uko abantu bamenya ko umukunda.
2 Jya kandi umubwira ko asa neza, kandi ko ari umugabo/umugore w’igitego. Hari igihe abagabo batigirira icyizere bityo bakagira ngo abakobwa b’inshuti zabo ntibabishimiye cyangwa ntibabahagije, jya ugerageza kwereka umukunzi wawe ko aguhagije kandi ko umwishimiye rwose.
3 Rimwe na rimwe kandi jya umwereka ko umufuhira kabone n’aho byaba bitaguturutse ku mutima. Hari abantu bashobora kubona abakunzi babo batajya na rimwe babafuhira bagatangira kwibaza ko batakibakunda cyangwa ko babatendeka. Jya unyuzamo umwereke, yego utarengereye, ko umufuhiye kugira ngo abone ko ukimukeneye, ko ugishaka urukundo rwe kandi ko umushaka ari uwawe gusa.
4 Jya umusoma cyane kandi umwereka ko wari ubikumbuye. Uti ‘nabimwereka nte rero’? Niba aguhaye akabizu agiye nko ku kazi, rimwe na rimwe n’uba wumva umukumbuye, jya uhita umukurura umusome nibura nk’iminota ibiri cyangwa inarenga, umwereke ko n’ubwo yari agusezeye yihuta nyamara wari ukeneye ibirenze ako kabizu gusa, umwereke ko kuba uri kumwe nawe bikurutira ibindi byose kandi ko urukundo rwe ruguhagije.
Intambwe 21 Zo Kubaka Urukundo ku Rutare
2. Nyurwa n’uko umukunzi wawe ameze: Abakundana benshi batandukanywa n’uko umwe mu bakundana atanyurwa n’uko uwo akunda ameze, yabona inshuti ye ifite umukunzi akifuza ko nawe uwe yaba ameze atyo kandi burya ikigushimisha si cyo cyashimisha undi, n’icyo wakundiye umukunzi wawe sicyo undi yakundiye uwe, bityo byakabaye byiza buri wese anyuzwe n’uko umukunzi we ameze.
3. Jya ubwira umukunzi wawe ko ari mwiza, yambaye neza, aberewe,… bitari ukumureshya no kumuryarya, ahubwo ari ukumwereka uburyo aguhagije kandi ko uticuza icyo wamukundiye.
4. Mubwire utujambo tw’urukundo, umubwire kandi nta soni ufite ko umukunda, nibura inshuro imwe ku munsi. Hari abantu bamwe batinya kuvuga ijambo”ndagukunda”, kandi mu by’ukuri nta muntu n’umwe udashimishwa no kubwirwa n’umukunzi ko amukunda, cyangwa ko nta soni biteye kuba umukunda. Ni byiza ko ubimubwira, akabimenya, akareka kubishidikanyaho; ariko ntibibe kubimubwira gusa ahubwo unabimwereke mu bikorwa.
5. Mujye mugira imishinga mufatanya: Burya iyo abantu bakundana usanga batavugana ku bintu byose, ariko bikaba byiza iyo bagize ibyo bafatanya gukorana nk’udushinga duto, gutegura urugendo bazakorana, kubaka inzu; ntibibe bya bindi umwe agenda akiherera agakora ibintu undi akazatungurwa!
6. Mujye mwicarana muganire cyane cyane ku kibazo runaka kibugarije, mugirane inama, kandi mugire n’umwanzuro mufatira hamwe.
7. Mujye mugerageza guhana impano bitari ngombwa wenda ko ziba zihenze cyane, ariko zifite icyo zisobanuye, zishobora kuvuga no gukora byinshi kurusha ibyo wavuga n’umunwa wawe.
8. Mujye mufatanya muri byose: Niba ari mu makosa umukosore kandi niba aguye mu byago ntumutererane.
9. Jya uhora umwishimiye kandi umwereke ko ari uwa mbere mu buzima bwawe: Abantu benshi birabagora kwerekana ibyo biyumvamo, ariko burya bishimisha umukunzi kumwereka ko ari uwa mbere, ko watomboye kumubona, ko wifuza ko muzibanira akaramata, kandi ko nta na rimwe uzigera umureka n’ibindi byose byiza wamwereka.
10. Birashoboka ko mushobora kuganira mukagera kure, mugakoranaho, mugasomana ndetse yewe mukaba mwanagera aho muryamana, ariko ntimukabigire nk’aho aricyo gisobanuro cy’urukundo kuko urukundo ni rugari rurenze ibi bifatika!
11. Mujye mugira umwanya wo guseka, mubwirane inkuru zisekeje, muruhurane mu mutwe, musekeee.. museke peee! Ntiwari uzi se ko guseka bavuga ko byongera iminsi yo kubaho? Usibye n’ibyo kandi ni byiza ko ukora utuntu cyangwa ukabwira utuntu umukunzi wawe dutuma agukumbura iyo udahari, yaba atwibutse yewe mutanari kumwe agaseka.
12. Mujye mugira ingingo runaka mutegura kuganiraho nibura rimwe mu byumweru bibiri, ingingo mubona ko yabubaka mwembi, wenda nibiba ngombwa mushake ubarusha kuyumva cyangwa kuyisobanukirwa ayibaganirizeho.
13. Mujye mugira igihe cyo kuganira ku ndoto zanyu kandi buri wese afashe undi kuzigeraho.
14. Ntimugapfukirane: Mbere y’uko akubona yari afite ibyo asanzwe akunda ndetse afite n’izindi nshuti. Ikindi kandi burya umuntu ni mugari ku buryo wowe wenyine udashobora kumuhaza; akeneye umubera umuvandimwe, uwo batera ibiparu mu gihe ashaka kwiruhurira mu mutwe (aba bajya bita Abajama), akeneye umunyenshuri bigana cyangwa umukozi bakorana kugira ngo amubere inshuti y’umwihariko, akeneye inshuti magara,…Jya umureka rero yisanzure kuba agufite ntibivuga ko yasubijwe ko nta n’undi muntu n’umwe akeneye.
15. Mwese muri kimwe, ntukumve ko hari ibyo wemerewe we atakora cyangwa ngo wumve ko hari amakosa ashobora gukorwa n’abagabo atakorwa n’abagore cyangwa se yakorwa n’abagore ntakorwe n’abagabo. Mwese muri kimwe, nta mwana, nta mukozi w’undi, nta mucakara w’undi ahubwo muri umwe; bityo rero ntihakagire uwumva ibi bireba uriya ngo we yumve ntacyo bimubwiye.
16. Mwemere uko ari, wishimire uko ari kuko ariwe Imana yakuremeye. Ntukumve ko wakwishima kurushaho ari uko uri kumwe na kanaka, jya ushimishwa n’umukunzi wawe kandi wige guhazwa n’ibyo ufite.
17. Ntimukabeshyane kandi ntimugacane inyuma: Ntacyo abandi bamurusha, bityo jya unyurwa n’uko ameze, ni wo muberanye pe.
18. Mujye mubabarirana, igihe umwe muri mwe, agize ikosa agwamo: Niba hari icyo yakoze kitagushimishije, ntukumve ko isi yakuguyeho, ntukumve kandi ko bikabije ku buryo adakwiye kubabarirwa. Twese turi abanyamakosa kandi buri wese yemerewe gukosa kuko tutari abamalayika, gusa ntuzabigendereho ngo nawe uhore ubabaza umukunzi, umunsi umwe ashobora kunanirwa kwihangana akagusiga kandi ntibyakugwa neza.
19. Jya usigarana amasomo y’ibyakubayeho, ntukibagirwe kugira ngo bijye bigufasha guhora wirinda kugwa mu makosa wigeze kugwamo kera.
20. Jya ugira ubushake ko urukundo rwanyu rwakomeza, niba usenga jya ubishyira mu isengesho ryawe rya buri munsi, ntukibagirwe ko byose bishoboka, urukundo rukwiye guhora ruvomerwa.
21. Ntimukararane umujinya-ikibazo cyababaje ntirikarenge mutagikemuye. Burya iyo umujinya urengeje umunsi umwe uhinduka inzigo kandi kuyibagirwa no kuyihagarika bikagorana
Amareshyamugeni! Utugambo tw'Urukundo
Mugihe muganira, mubwire uti:
Ibyo nkora byose ni ukugira ngo nzabane nawe ubuzima bwanjye bwose,
Zahabu zose na diyama ziri ku isi ntabwo bihagije ngo umuntu abe yagura urukundo umutima wanjye ugufitiye
Imana yarakundemeye kugira ngo guteteshe
Urukundo rwawe rwarantwaye
Nabaye nk’umusazi kubera wowe
Sinshobora guhagarika ku gutekerezaho
Sinshobora na rimwe gutera agahinda umutima wawe
Sinshaka kubyuka kubera inzozi nziza nari ndimo hamwe nawe
Iyo turi kumwe numva ntekanye
Namaze kuvumbura urukundo ry’ukuri muri wowe
Nkunda kuganira nawe
Nkunda uburyo unkunda
Nshimira Imana umunsi wa mbere yakunzaniye muzima bwanjye
Ndifuza kumarana nawe ubuzima bwanjye bwose
Icyo ari cyo cyose nzasabwa kugira ngo ngumane nawe nzagitanga
Nzaguha umutima wanjye wose, umubiri wanjye, n’ibitekerezo byanjye byose
Nzajyana nawe ku mpera z’isi mu gihe uzaba ukinkunda
Sinhobora kukurutisha amafaranga n’izahabu
Nzemera guca mu bikomeye n’ibihome byose kugira ngo nzabane nawe
Ndasaba Imana kugira ngo ikunzanire vuba hashoboka
Nzakwitangira muri byose nihangira igishaka kukubabaza
Niba kugukunda ari icyaha nzemera mbe umunyabyaha
Niba urukundo ari impumyi sinifuza kongera kubona umucyo w’umunsi ukundi
Ubuzima butagufite ni nko kujya kuryama warangiza ukarota nabi cyangwa se ntugire inzozi nziza
Kugukunda ni nko kwibera muri paradizo cyngwa mu ijuru
Kugukunda bindyohereza ubuzima
Gukundana nawe byatumye umutima wanjye wuzura ibyishimo n’umunezero
Umutima wanjye urarira iyo utandi hafi
Ni wowe rukundo rwanjye, uri umutima wanjye ni nawe buzima bwanjye
Nta wundi muntu wankunda nk’uko unkunda
Nta kintu na kimwe cyahagarika urukundo rwanjye
Ooh rukundo rwanjye uri mwiza kuri njye
Uburyo umpobera n’uburyo unsoma (kisses) ni iby’agaciro kurusha zahabu
Kuvugana nawe ni nko kunywa ku muzabibu (Wine) uryohereye, ibi kandi nibyo nifuza iteka
Igihe tumarana ni nk’umukino mwiza amafaranga adashobora kugura
Iyo turi kumwe ibyago byanjye byose bihita bihunga
Iyo kwitegereje nkubonamo umuntu w’igiciro
Amagambo ntabwo ahangije ngo ngusobanurire uburyo gukunda
Niwowe gikomangoma (prince) cyanjye
Uri uw’agaciro kuri njye
Uri indirimbo ituma umutima wanjye uririmba
Ni wowe nari narifuje mu buzima bwanjye
Uri igice cy’ubuzima bwanjye gituma numva mbaye umuntu wuzuye
Ni wowe mugabo cyangwa mugore w’inzozi zanjye
Ni wowe muntu uryoshye cyane namenye
Nta kindi kwifuzaho uretse urukundo, amahoro n’ibyishimo
Watumye ntuza muri njye
Watumye niyumva nk’umuntu w’agaciro
Ndumva nifuza kugusoma kuva ku mutwe kugeza kw’ino
Utuma mpora ndushaho kugutekerezaho buri munsi
Umfata nk’igikomangoma cyawe najye bigatuma ngukunda n’umutima wanjye wose
Ni wowe muntu ugira imico n’imyifatire byiza nabonye kuva nabaho
Amagambo yawe y’urukundo akora kundiba y’umutima wanjye
Urukundo rwawe rumeze nk’ibuye rinini ridashobora kumeneka
Urukundo rwawe ni rwiza sinshobora gutekereza kujya ahandi
Iyo unsekeye utuma amarira yambugaga mu maso ahita asubirayo
Iyo unkojejeho intoki zawe numva ninjiye mu yindi si
Rimwe na rimwe ujye umubwira ko udashobora kubaho adahari , n’ibindi.
Ibintu 7 Byangiza Ubuzima bw'Abakundana
1. Televiziyo
Muzarebe namwe nk’iyo hari filimi za seri (series), ukava ku kazi mbere yo kubaza uko abo mu rugo biriwe ugahita uhitira kuri televiziyo, cyangwa ari mu gihe cy’imipira ya champion’s League cyangwa n'iyindi,… biri mu bintu bibangamira abakundana.
Kujya ku meza wicaye imbere ya Televiziyo kabone n’aho mwaba murimo kureba ibintu mwembi bibashimishije iyo bibaye buri gihe bituma nta mwihariko w’ibiganiro byanyu mugirana, ugatuma nta mwanya mufata ngo muganire, mwitekerezeho.
2. Guhora mu bintu bimwe
Ya restaurant mwakundaga gusohokeramo, rya funguro mwakundaga gusangira, ha hantu hose mwakundaga gutemberera,… muri make bya bindi byose mwajyaga mukunda, bya bindi byose byajyaga bibashishikaza, byose mwarabyibagiwe, mwarabitaye,… ubu musigaye mubana nk’abantu bamenyeranye bihorera mu bintu bimwe, nta mwihariko wanyu mufite, nta gashya mu rukundo rwanyu kandi urukundo ni nk’ururabyo rusaba guhora ruvomerwa, ibi nabyo biri mu bituma couple inanirwa, igacumbagira byarimba ndetse ikaba yanahagarara burundu.
3. Gukora amasaha arenga ayo mwagombaga
Rekera aho gutaha bwije, bitari uko gusa nawe ubwawe nta gihe wiha ahubwo kuko n’uwo ukunda nta mwanya na muke ukimuha. Gerageza kuva ku masaha wakoraga nibura ukureho nk’abiri ukomeze kugera ubwo uzumva nawe ubwawe usigaye ubona umwanya wo kuruhuka. Impamvu y’ibi rero si no kugira ngo uruhuke gusa, nta n’ubwo impamvu bibangamira umukunzi wawe ari uko atakikubona gusa, ahubwo ni uko iyo umaze igihe ukora cyane utaruhuka n’ibiganiro byawe ubwabyo biba ari ibyerekeranye n’akazi kawe gusa, bityo ugasanga ariko konyine uha umwanya mu buzima bwawe, umukunzi wawe ntiyongere kubona umwanya mu buzima bwawe.
4. Kutiyitaho
Kuba umaranye igihe kinini n’umukunzi wawe, ntibivuze ko bihagije; kuba kandi akuzi neza agukunda uko uri - ibyiza byawe n’ibibi byawe- ntibivuze ko bihagije nta kindi ushobora gukora. Si byiza ko ujya mu bwiherero ugasiga udasutsemo amazi ngo ni uko mujya no gukundana ariko wari umeze yabyihanganiye, nta n’ubwo ari byiza ko musohokana utikozeho, ngo wambare neza, usokoze imisatsi yawe neza, ku buryo buri munsi abona impamvu yo kugumana nawe, ku buryo n’abandi bakureba koko bakabona ko afite umukunzi mwiza. Ni ngombwa kumwereka ko ari umuntu w’agaciro imbere yawe ku buryo buri gihe uba ugomba kwishimira kuba ari uwawe ukabimwereka umuha agaciro akwiye koko.
5. Kumwima agaciro
Mu bintu bya mbere bibangamira couple, harimo kuba udaha agaciro umukunzi wawe.
Aha sinshatse kuvuga kumugurira impano gusa, kumuha indabyo nziza z’amaroze, ibi byose si byo byonyine byereka umukunzi wawe ko umuhaye agaciro. Ahubwo, wenda niba muri kumwe, jya umureba umwereke ko n’ubu utarumva uburyo yakwemereye ko utura mu mutima we; birahagije ko umenya kandi ukamubwira ikintu cyose gishya cyamubayeho, niba yambaye umwenda mushya, niba avuye muri salon de coiffure, ugahita ubibona kandi ukabimubwira; ntugatinye kumubwira igihe ubona asa neza cyangwa yambaye neza, ntugatinye na rimwe kumubwira icyo umutekerezaho cyane cyane iyo ari cyiza kandi ubona ko gishobora kumwubaka.
6. Gufuha birenze urugero
Burya iyo ukunda umuntu ni ngombwa ko umufuhira, ariko na bwo iyo urengereye ntibiba bikiri byiza.
Rekera aho kumucunga no kumucungisha abandi, si umujura. Rekera aho gucunga ubutumwa bugufi yakiriye kuri telefoni ye, rekera aho gucunga email zamwandikiwe n’izo yanditse. Jya umenya ko ikintu cy’ingenzi mu rukundo ari icyizere kandi mwese mukakigirirana. Iyo ukomeje kumwereka ko utamwizeye, agera aho akaruha na we akagera aho akumva ntaryohewe bityo rwose akaba yanisangira undi umuha amahoro.
7. Kwifata bikabije
Kumenya imibereho ya couple yanyu burya ni ingenzi kandi birabareba mwese. Rimwe na rimwe hari ibintu biba bidakwiye gukorwa nk’ umugenzo. Iyo abantu bakundana cyane cyane abamaze kubana dore ko ari nabo baba babyemerewe, ni byiza ko bakorana imibonano mpuzabitsina. Burya si ngombwa ko buri joro uko mugiye kuryama mutangira kubonana, nta n’ubwo ari formule rwose kuko iki ni igikorwa gikorwa iyo buri wese abyiyumvamo, bitari uko ari formule. Niba utabyiyumvamo aho kugira ngo ubikore nabi, wabireka rwose ariko kandi mujye mugerageza mwembi, mumenye igihe mwumva mwese mubishaka. Gusa ntimugahore mu bintu bimwe hato mutazarambirwa ahubwo nimugerageze guhindura uburyo mubikoramo, mugerageze kubwizanya ukuri ibishimisha buri wese, mugerageze guhindura igihe, kuko burya iyo bihora ari bimwe nta gashya, mugera aho mukarambirwa. Nimugerageze mwumve ko ari igikorwa muha agaciro. Nko mu bihugu byateye imbere ho, hari igihe abakunzi bava mu gihugu bakajya mu kindi, mu mugabane bakajya mu wundi, ariko kugira ngo urukundo rwabo ruhore ari rushya nta bintu bihoraho kandi birambirana bakora.
Amakosa 4 y'Urukundo Abagore Bakora
1. Kwizera ko ushobora guhindura umugabo
Kugumana icyizere ko ushobora guhindura ingeso mbi z’ inshuti yawe ni uburyo bubi bwo gushaka umukunzi. Umuntu nakubwira kugumana n’ umuhungu mukundana kuko ushobora kumuhindura ntukemere iyo nama.
2. Kwicecekera
Igitekerezo kivuga ko umugore agomba kwitonda kuruta uko asanzwe kugira ngo atege umugabo we amatwi gusa ni ikosa rikomeye. Niba umugabo wawe atagukundira uko umeze cyangwa akumva adatekanye kuko yifuza umuntu arusha ubwenge ntugomba kumushaka. Iyo ugerageza guhisha ubushobozi bwawe uba ukora ikosa rikomeye nubwo yaba ari mwiza bingana bite. Ntugire ikibazo igumire wenyine.
3. Gutegereza ko umugabo agenda
Urukundo rw’ ubu ndetse n’ibitabo bigezweho bivuga ko umugore agomba gutegereza ko umugabo agira aho ajya kugira ngo nawe agire aho ajya. Nubwo rimwe na rimwe ibyo ari byiza, no kugira icyo ukora kugira ngo ubone icyo wifuza kimwe no kugaragaza uko umeze ni byiza. Ibi kandi binagaragara ku bintu bimwe na bimwe byo mu rugo, aho abagore bamwe bategereza guhabwa ‘uburengenzira’ n’abagaabo mbere yo kugira icyo bakora. Niba barakubwiye gutegereza ko telefone isona baguhaye inama mbi. Niba ukeneye ikintu gifate, ubundi uze kumusobanurira. Gusa uzirinde gusesagura
4. Gukora icyo ashaka cyose
Iri ni irindi kosa mu rukundo. Ni byiza gufata icyemezo wagishije inama. Mu gihe gutegereza umugabo kugira ngo ahitemo igihe aribyo byiza, gupfukiranya ibitekerezo byawe kubera ubwoba si byiza. Gerageza kureka gukora ibyo yifuza byose mu ntangiriro z’ umubano wanyu kuko ushobora kuzamutungura utangiye kubinanirwa. Aho kugira ngo ushyire umubano wanyu mu kaga no mu ntambara, emerera kamere yawe n’ ibitekerezo byawe kwigaragaza igihe cyose.
Uburyo 5 Wakoresha Kugira ngo Umugabo Wawe Arusheho Kugukunda
Burya mu rukundo ibikorwa nibyo by’igenzi kurusha amagambo. Ntuzakore ibyo ukeka ko abagore benshi bakorera abagabo babo cyangwa se ibyo bakubwira ngo ukorere uwawe ahubwo gerageza ukore utuntu tw’umwihariko, umwereke ko umukunda bidaciye mu bandi. Niba ushaka ko umugabo wawe azajya aguha impano gerageza nawe umuhe impano hanyuma nawe uzajya uzibona, nyinshi kandi buri munsi. ikindi kandi ugomba kujya wita ku mugabo wawe igihe cyose, ni ukuvuga mwaba mwirirwanye mu urugo cyangwa igihe avuye ku kazi; niba akora ugomba ku mwitaho. Menya ko ari ikosa kuguma kuri telefone uvugana n’incuti zawe kandi umugabo wawe ahari. Niba ushaka ko umugabo wawe agufata mu buryo budasanzwe tangira nawe umufate neza mu buryo bwose ushoboye.
2. Gerageza umwereke ibikorwa by’urukundo buri kanya
Niba muri umugabo n’umugore mwubatse, umugore akaba amaze kumenyera ko buri gihe umugabo ariwe uzana ingingo yo gutera urubariro bikwiye guhinduka. Mugore nawe rimwe na rimwe jya ugerageza ube ari wowe utuma mutera akabariro bizatuma umugabo wawe yumva ko nawe umukunda. Ibi kandi bizanatuma yikuramo ikintu cyo kumva ko igihe azanye igitekerezo kimeze gutya uzamuhakanira. kuko ngo usanga abagabo benshi bumva ko bari busubizwe inyuma igihe bazanye igitekerezo cyo gutera urubariro. bi ntibivuzeko iki ari cyo kintu cyonyine cyatuma umugabo wawe abona ko umukunda ariko nanone hari ikintu bizahindura ku kuntu yagufataga, bizatuma kandi agukunda mu buryo wifuzaga.
3. Hagarika intonganya hagati yawe n’umugabo wawe ahubwo utangire gukoresha amagambo meza y’urukundo igihe muganira
Ubundi ngo muri rusange abagabo benshi ntibakunda gusubiza neza abagore babo bigatuma n’abagore bavuga nabi. Nyamara icyiza si uko umuntu ukubwiye nabi nawe umwuka indi, ahubwo mugore jya ugerageza wicishe bugufi utege amatwi umugabo wawe ubundi umubwirane ikinyapfura ko uburyo agusubisazamo utabikunda kandi umubwire ko n’iyo aguciye intege bikubabaza cyane . Aha bizatuma umugabo atangira kugabanya gukoresha amagambo akarishye mu mvugo ye kuko azaba abonye ko utabimenyereye.
4. Mwereke ko umutima wawe n’ibyuyumvo byawe bimufitiye icyizere
Igihe muri kuganira ujye ukoresha amagambo amwereka ko umwizera kandi ko umutima wawe udashidikanya ko umugabo wawe ari umumwizerwa. Ntugakunde kumubaza ibijyanye n’umubano wanyu cyangwa se ngo wibaze icyo yakora mu mibanire yanyu, bityo bizatuma umugabo abona ko unyurwa n’ibyo agukorera noneho arusheho kugenda agukunda.
5. Gerageza kwiyoroshya ujye unanyuzamo museke bizatuma amenya ko burya nawe ukunda ibintu bikunezeza
Abagore benshi bakunda guhora bafunze amasura bashaka ko bahora baganira ibiganiro biremereye ndetse binasaba gutekerezaho cyane kandi burya abagabo bakunda kuruhuka mu mutwe biganirira ibintu bitabasaba gukoresha ingufu z’ubwonko. Nubigenza gutya bizatuma akanya yagaha abandi wenda ari nko mu kabari kugira ngo aruhuke mu mutwe aganira n’abandi bisekera. Ariko niba unyuzamo ukamusetsa, mukaganira ku bintu bisanzwe bituma munezerwa bizatuma aguha akanya kandi ajye ahora agukumbuye. Ugomba rero kwiga uburyo wajya ukina n’umugabo wawe mukishima kandi mugaseka.
Uburyo bwo Gutinyuka Kubwira Umusore/Umukobwa ko Umukunda
1 Gerageza kumwegera
Ni henshi muhurira -mu ishuri, mu kazi, buri mugoroba hari alimentation muhuriramo, - none urambiwe rwose guhora umubona umutima ukadiha kandi we ntacyo bimubwiye!
Byakurambiye urifuza kumubwira icyo umutekerezaho, urifuza rwose kumenya ikibazo ufite nibura umutima wawe ukaruhuka, yashaka akakumva, yashaka akagusuzugura, ariko umutima wawe ukaruhuka.
Dore uko wabigenza kugira ngo akubone neza ubwa mbere
• Gerageza kwishyiramo ibitekerezo byiza kandi bitaguca intege. Ishyiremo ko uri mwiza, ko uri uwa mbere; ese ubundi umusore/inkumi nkawe yaturukahe? Ni nde se utifuza kugira umukunzi nka we? Ibi n’ubwo atari ko buri gihe bikora, ariko rwose birafasha kuko biguha ubushobozi bwo kuba wagerageza kwegera wa muntu ubusanzwe ubona ugatitira, kubera ubwoba bwo kubona ntaho wamuhera.
• Subiza ibirenge ku isi. Gerageza kubanza kwiyitaho bihagije, usokoze neza, wambare neza, ube uhumura neza, mbese fraicheur ari zose.Gusa ntugakabye kuko kugeza aha nturamenya ibyo yanga n’ibyo akunda. By’umwihariko, nujya guhitamo imyenda wambara, witondere kumenya itakubangamiye, wambara koko ukumva umerewe neza.
• Nubishaka wenda, ubanze ufate n’agapapuro ushyire ku murongo imyitwarire yawe mibi (defaults) zawe wumva wifuza kutaza kwerekana imbere ye, hanyuma urebe n’imyitwarire yawe myiza (Qualités) wumva wifuza ko abona, gusa nturengere ngo ushake ko abona ko wujuje byose(uri parfait) kuko uwo muntu umeze atya n’ubu ntarabaho.
Byitwaremo neza
Ni ngombwa cyane ko akubona neza ku munota wa mbere. Kubera iyo mpamvu ugerageze rero ntuvange ibintu.
• Utagombye kwandika byinshi, mbere y’uko muhura, fata agapapuro gato wandikeho utuntu duke wumva wifuza ko muza kuganira kuri uwo mugoroba/icyo gihe muhuye, muri hamwe cyangwa mubonanye. Niba wateganyije kuganira ku ngingo runaka, nyabuneka ntukayijye ku ruhande, ntukanavange ibintu igihe murimo kuganira, jya wirinda kandi no kuvuga cyane kugira ngo ataza kurambirwa.
• Rimwe na rimwe, ariko n’ubundi utarengereye cyane, jya ugerageza kuzanamo akantu gashya mu byo mwaganiraga igihe ubonye ko ibyo mwaganiraga bisa n’aho bishize cyangwa n’ibyamurambiye; umwereke ko wifuza kumumenya cyane ariko ko umwubaha ku buryo wanze kurengera, urebe niba nawe yifuza kukwifungurira utamushyizeho agahato.
• Ntimuzatandukane utamubwiye koko kandi mu buryo bw’ikinyabupfura icyo umutekerezaho. Rimwe na rimwe umuntu ashobora gutumira umuntu akunda bakarinda batandukanna atamubwiye icyo yamushakiraga kandi mu kutumira yaramubwiraga ko amushaka hari icyo yifuza kumubwira cyangwa ko baganiraho. Si byiza kuko ashobora guhita aguca amazi nk’uko abenshi bakunda kubivuga. Mubwire utamubeshya kandi udakabije uburyo umwiyumvamo gusa ntumuhatire guhita aguha igisubizo kuko uwo mwanya wafashe ubitekerezaho nawe afite uburenganzira bwo kuwubona.
• Ntukarebe hasi urimo kubimubwira cyangwa yewe n’igihe urangije kubimubwira kuko gukunda umuntu si icyaha, kandi si na ngombwa ko usanga nawe ari uko. Murebe mu maso utamutera ubwoba cyangwa ngo umuhangare, ahubwo murebane indoro yoroshye, umubwire ko uko ari ko kuri kuri mu mutima wawe kandi ko ntaho umukinze. Burya rimwe na rimwe indoro yonyine ishobora kuvuga byinshi kurusha amagambo.
Uburyo 5 bwo Kumenya Niba Umukobwa w'Inshuti Yawe Agukunda
hari igihe ashobora kubyemera bitewe n’inyungu akubonamo . Ugomba rero kubanza ukitonda ugashishoza, ukareba ko agukunda koko . Dore bimwe mu byakugaragariza ko agukunda bya nyabyo:
1 Yifuza kukuba hafi iteka
Ahora iteka ashaka kuba hafi yawe, igihe mutari kumwe akakwandikira akubaza amakuru cyangwa se akaguhamagara ntarindire ko ari wowe umuhamagara gusa; ahanini uzumva akubaza niba wageze mu rugo mu gihe ukora cyangwa se uri umunyeshuri. Aba yumva kandi ashaka kumenya uko wiriwe, mbese uko umunsi wakugendekeye. Umukobwa ugukunda kandi uzumva yishimira kumenya gahunda zawe no kumenya ibyo utegenya gukora mu minsi y’ikiruhuko nka week-end .
Nawe kandi arakureka ukamenya amakuru ye ndetse nawe ubwe ukamumenya. Bene uyu mukobwa ntashobora kwibagirwa kuguhamagara cyangwa kukuvugisha ku itariki y’agaciro mu buzima bwanyu. Muri make, agerageza kumarana nawe igihe kirekire.
2 Akwereka umuryango we n’incuti ze
Uru aba ari urukundo rwuzuye kandi ni iby’agaciro mu gihe umukobwa afashe icyemezo cyo kukwereka ababyeyi be cyangwa abandi bantu bo mu muryango we ndetse n’inshuti ze za hafi adashatse kukugumisha mu kigare kimwe. Uyu mukobwa kandi ngo aba ashaka kugushyira hafi ye kugira ngo ukomeze umwiyumvemo ku bundi buryo. Ikindi umukobwa ugukunda yishimirako buri muntu amenya ko muri kumwe kandi akavuga ko mukundana uri inshutiye ya mbere.
3 Ni umukobwa wihagararaho kandi ugufitiye icyizere
Umukobwa nk’uyu aguha umwanya wawe wo gusohoka n’inshuti zawe kandi ntibimutere ikibazo. Ubundi azagera aho ategure kuza kukureba ari kumwe na bagenzi be. Ubushuti bufite icyizere bumara igihe kinini, buraramba kandi bukagenda bwaguka; ni ukuvuga ko umukobwa ukwizera akenshi aba anagukunda.
4 Umukobwa ugukunda rimwe na rimwe aragufuhira
Kuba umukunzi wawe agufuhira ntibizagutere ikibazo kuko burya iyo abagore bafushye bihita bigaragarira buri wese . Gufuha ntabwo ari ikimenyetso cy’urwango ahubwo ni urukundo rwinshi aba yifitemo; ni ukuvuga ko gufuha ari ikimenyetso cy’urukundo. Nubona ikintu cyose uzakora kitababaza umukobwa mukundana cyangwa se ukabona atajya agufuhira na gato, uzamenye ko uwo mukobwa atakwitayeho .
5 Azakwibwirira ko agukunda
Ubundi ngo mu mibereho y’abakobwa hari amagambo abagora gukoresha nko kubwira umuhungu ko amukunda. Niwumva rero abivuze uzamenye ko byamuvunnye cyane . Burya umukobwa utagukunda by’ukuri ntiyapfa kubumbura umunwa we ngo akubwire ko agukunda yumva mu byiyumviro bye atari ko bimeze. Umukobwa rero uzakubwira ko agakunda uzamenyeko nta n’ikibazo yagira isi yose imenye ko agukunda; mbega aba akwishimiye anishimiye kuba ari kumwe nawe.
Niba rero ufite umukobwa wita ko ari inshuti yawe (girlfriend) ,ugasanga mu bimenyetso tuvuze haruguru nta na kimwe afite cyangwase akugaragariza menya ko atagukunda na buhoro ahubwo urebe uburyo wabona undi ugukunda kandi ubikwereka mu bikorwa no mu magambo.
1 Yifuza kukuba hafi iteka
Ahora iteka ashaka kuba hafi yawe, igihe mutari kumwe akakwandikira akubaza amakuru cyangwa se akaguhamagara ntarindire ko ari wowe umuhamagara gusa; ahanini uzumva akubaza niba wageze mu rugo mu gihe ukora cyangwa se uri umunyeshuri. Aba yumva kandi ashaka kumenya uko wiriwe, mbese uko umunsi wakugendekeye. Umukobwa ugukunda kandi uzumva yishimira kumenya gahunda zawe no kumenya ibyo utegenya gukora mu minsi y’ikiruhuko nka week-end .
Nawe kandi arakureka ukamenya amakuru ye ndetse nawe ubwe ukamumenya. Bene uyu mukobwa ntashobora kwibagirwa kuguhamagara cyangwa kukuvugisha ku itariki y’agaciro mu buzima bwanyu. Muri make, agerageza kumarana nawe igihe kirekire.
2 Akwereka umuryango we n’incuti ze
Uru aba ari urukundo rwuzuye kandi ni iby’agaciro mu gihe umukobwa afashe icyemezo cyo kukwereka ababyeyi be cyangwa abandi bantu bo mu muryango we ndetse n’inshuti ze za hafi adashatse kukugumisha mu kigare kimwe. Uyu mukobwa kandi ngo aba ashaka kugushyira hafi ye kugira ngo ukomeze umwiyumvemo ku bundi buryo. Ikindi umukobwa ugukunda yishimirako buri muntu amenya ko muri kumwe kandi akavuga ko mukundana uri inshutiye ya mbere.
3 Ni umukobwa wihagararaho kandi ugufitiye icyizere
Umukobwa nk’uyu aguha umwanya wawe wo gusohoka n’inshuti zawe kandi ntibimutere ikibazo. Ubundi azagera aho ategure kuza kukureba ari kumwe na bagenzi be. Ubushuti bufite icyizere bumara igihe kinini, buraramba kandi bukagenda bwaguka; ni ukuvuga ko umukobwa ukwizera akenshi aba anagukunda.
4 Umukobwa ugukunda rimwe na rimwe aragufuhira
Kuba umukunzi wawe agufuhira ntibizagutere ikibazo kuko burya iyo abagore bafushye bihita bigaragarira buri wese . Gufuha ntabwo ari ikimenyetso cy’urwango ahubwo ni urukundo rwinshi aba yifitemo; ni ukuvuga ko gufuha ari ikimenyetso cy’urukundo. Nubona ikintu cyose uzakora kitababaza umukobwa mukundana cyangwa se ukabona atajya agufuhira na gato, uzamenye ko uwo mukobwa atakwitayeho .
5 Azakwibwirira ko agukunda
Ubundi ngo mu mibereho y’abakobwa hari amagambo abagora gukoresha nko kubwira umuhungu ko amukunda. Niwumva rero abivuze uzamenye ko byamuvunnye cyane . Burya umukobwa utagukunda by’ukuri ntiyapfa kubumbura umunwa we ngo akubwire ko agukunda yumva mu byiyumviro bye atari ko bimeze. Umukobwa rero uzakubwira ko agakunda uzamenyeko nta n’ikibazo yagira isi yose imenye ko agukunda; mbega aba akwishimiye anishimiye kuba ari kumwe nawe.
Niba rero ufite umukobwa wita ko ari inshuti yawe (girlfriend) ,ugasanga mu bimenyetso tuvuze haruguru nta na kimwe afite cyangwase akugaragariza menya ko atagukunda na buhoro ahubwo urebe uburyo wabona undi ugukunda kandi ubikwereka mu bikorwa no mu magambo.
Impamvu 9 Zituma Abasore Batinya Guhita Bashaka
Niba rero uri umukobwa ugakorera umuhungu mukundana ibintu byose ,ukamwitangira nkaho ari umugabo wawe ngo ntuzategereze ko azagushyira mu rugo mu buryo bwihuse aha ngo aba abona gushaka ntacyo bimubwiye kuko aba abona ntaho atandukaniye n’abamaze kurushinga.
2.Hari igihe umubyeyi we aba atarahiriwe n’urushako, bigatuma umusore yumva atifuza kuba mu buzima nk’ubwo umubyeyi we yabayemo
Burya ngo abagabo benshi bakunda kubaho mu buzima bw’urukundo rutagira amakemwa. Iyo yumva rero gushaka atazabigiriramo ibyishimo usanga bihita bimuca intege cyane iyo azi ko n’umubyeyi we yahuye n’icyo kibazo. Aha umuntu yatanga urugero nk’iyo ababyeyi b’uyu muhungu batabanye neza bikagera naho batandukana(Divorce),cyangwa se bakabaho batumvikana na gato. Ibi bituma yanga ibyo gushaka ndetse akaba atanapfa guhita abikora kuko aba abona byamukururira ibibazo
3.Hari igihe aba yumva atarahaga irari rya gisore
Iyo umusore yumva atarahaga ubusore bwe , aba yumva kurongora bizamubangamira bikamubuza kwiryohereza ubuzima ijana ku ijana uko abyifuza, agahitamo kuba abiretse.
4.Hari igihe aba yumva atifuza ko umukobwa bari kumwe yazamubera mama w’abana be.
Kuri iyi ngingo umusore aba yishimira kugendana nawe (umukobwa), kuba basangira akumva nta kibazo ariko akumva atari (wo)we yifuza ko mwabana akaramata. Bitavuze ko utari mwiza -ushobora kuba uri mwiza n’abantu bose babibona- ariko we akumva utari ku rwego rw’umukobwa yifuza kuzabana nawe. Ibi rero nibyo bituma umusore amara igihe kinini adashaka kandi abantu bazi ko afite inshuti.
5.Ushobora kuba utaramugoye mu kumwemerera urukundo
Abagabo benshi bakunda abakobwa babarushya mbere y’uko bakundana. Niyo ngo waba uri mwiza gute ariko utaramugoye aba yumva bidahagije; maze akumva hari ikibura. Abagabo bakunda kubanza kuvunika mbere yo kugera ku kintu.
6. Ushobora kuba uri umukobwa uteye uko umuhungu mukundana adakunda
Abahungu bamwe na bamwe bakunda kureba imiterere y’bakobwa, akavuga ati: “njye umukobwa tuzabana azaba areshya atya, apima ibiro bingana gutya” n’ibindi. Iyo rero ibyo ashaka utabyujuje ngo ntuzategereze ko muzabana akaramata. Ashobora kuba yishimira uburyo mubanye n’ imyitwarire yawe ariko yakureba akabona atari wowe mukobwa w’inzozi ze.
7.Iyo umuhungu abona nta cyerekezo cyangwa se intumbero ufite mu byo ukora ntiyapfa kugushaka
Hari igihe umuhungu aba abona uri wa mukobwa utagira icyo yamufasha mu gihe muzaba mubana mu nzu-nko kubirebana no gushaka amafaranga azatunga urugo rwanyu akaba abona ntacyo byakubwira- aha ngo umuhungu ntiyagira imbaraga zo kugushyira mu rugo.
8.Iyo abona uri umukobwa ushobora ku mucunga; mbega ngo ukaba wamuhozaho ijisho
Igihe umusore yamaze kuvumbura ko uri wa mukobwa wamuhozaho ijisho, ugahora umucunga, ngo yibaza noneho igihe mwaba mubana ukuntu ibintu byaba bimeze, agafata umwanzuro wo kuba akwihoreye mu gihe arimo kwishakira umukobwa uzamuha amahoro ye uko ayifuza.
9.Ashobora kuba ashaka kwigeragereza amahirwe
Uyu musore aba atarafata umwanzuro mu rukundo . Iyo muri kumwe aba yumva yajya kugerageza n’ahandi, aba ngo yumva undi mukobwa utari wowe ari we wamukunda kurusha uko umukunda. Umuhungu nk’uyu ahora agerageza; aba afite abakobwa bakorana imibonano mpuzabitsina ariko ntakuremo uzamubera umugore.
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)